Thomas Jefferson once said: 'Of course the people don't want war. But the people can be brought to the bidding of their… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Bad jokes and gay marriage are destroying this country. But torture can save it. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Everybody talks about the entitlement generation. There is no time I'd rather live in than now, and there is no generation I… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
War that hasn't affected us here, in the way that you would imagine a five-year war would affect a country. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I don't trust any country that looks around a continent and says, "Hey, I'll take the frozen part." — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
One of the things that I do think government counts on is that people are busy. And it's very difficult to mobilize… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I have to say, as someone who is not a Christian, it’s hard for me to believe Christians are a persecuted people… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Iran, Ireland, Israel. That's three countries, four religions that HATE each other. Way to go, 'I'. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The country of Mexico has just gotten its first Taco Bell. You're Welcome. Finally, Mexicans will have access to... Mexican food. Bon… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You can have all the muskets you want! You can even have assault muskets!...Their (the NRA's) paranoid fear of a possible dystopic… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You can truly grieve for every officer who's been lost in the line of duty in this country, and still be troubled… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
We hear every damn day about how fragile our country is - on the brink of catastrophe - torn by polarizing hate,… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The Jews celebrate Passover by eating unpalatable food to remind them what will happen to their people if they ever leave New… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I don't think politics is any longer about a conversation with the country. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The trial of Enron chiefs Jeffrey Skilling and Ken Lay began four-and-a-half years after perpetrating -- allegedly -- the fraud that led… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Any fool can blow something up. Any fool can destroy. But to see these guys, these firefighters and these policemen and people… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
On a more personal note we in this country we have a very tragic situation occur at one of our universities and,… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Gay people can't be proud of the country and want to defend it too. What's the army afraid is going to happen… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You can truly grieve for every officer who's been lost in the line of duty in this country, and still be troubled… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The thing that [the Senate and the House] don't realize is that everyone wants them to come from beyond that contradiction so… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The conversation that the Senate and the House are having with the President [Barack Obama] was very similar to the conversation that… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The country's 24 hour political pundit perpetual panic conflictinator did not cause our problems but its existence makes solving them that much… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I don't know how people feel,that's the beauty of TV, is they can see us, but we can't see them. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I reject the idea there are just two sides. I think that with the amount of ideas and thoughts there are, it's not even… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Megachurches. I can't be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed welfare and… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You know, in Saudi Arabia, you're innocent until proven Jewish. Female. Guilty! They're guilty! — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates the use of 's.'… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
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