People, if you can't get through the puns, I can't give you the good stuff. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I don't know how people feel,that's the beauty of TV, is they can see us, but we can't see them. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I thinking gay and straight people use the same putters, it's not a matter of putters but a matter of hole selection. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
They may want to insist that corporations are people but corporations are certainly not Americans. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Some people look at a glass and see it as half-full. Others look at a glass and call it a dragon. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
If America leads a blessed life, then why did God put all of our oil under people who hate us? — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
It's the same argument people say about the blogs. The blogs are responsible. No, they're not. The blogs are like anything else.… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Scores of Iraqi exiles met in London to discuss ways to overthrow Saddam Hussein in a grand gathering dubbed the 'Iraqi Military… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I would think black people think everything is about race. They are the ones who are on the outside of the game.… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
What are you so mad about? That we still have a government? We still have “traffic lights.” We’re sorry. The government’s not… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Pigmentation was a quick and convenient way of judging a person. One of us, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., once proposed we… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
No matter what your race, creed or sexual preference, there is a word that people use to describe you that is very… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
But that hair? That is comedy entrapment. People are not attacking your hair, they are defending themselves from something that appears like… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Sitting around with funny people, banging out jokes and creating a television show. I have no hobbies, no outside interests. I'm fine… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Any fool can blow something up. Any fool can destroy. But to see these guys, these firefighters and these policemen and people… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Thomas Jefferson once said: 'Of course the people don't want war. But the people can be brought to the bidding of their… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I reject the idea there are just two sides. I think that with the amount of ideas and thoughts there are, it's… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
College is something you complete. Life is something you experience. So don't worry about your grade, or the results or success. Success… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
North Korea is making several demands in exchange for giving up their nuclear program, including a promise from America not to attack… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The night I turned twenty-two, I drank a shot for every year. I was so drunk, I'd just walk up to people… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Michael Brown, the director of FEMA, was nominated by President Bush in 2003 and plans to start the job any day now.… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I feel like the only thing that I can do, and I've been fired from enough jobs, that I'm pretty confident in… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Donald Rumsfeld. Love him or hate him, you've gotta admit: a lot of people hate him. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Jazz musicians are the coolest people on the planet. Can I have some cool? — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn't that long ago that we were swept away… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
People are very sophisticated consumers of information, and they're pulling all different things. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
People don't understand that we're not warriors in their cause. We're a group of people that really feel that they want to… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Nineteen people flew into the towers. It seems hard for me to imagine that we could go to war enough to make… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Senator John McCain, who spent over five years in a Vietnamese POW camp, publicly releases 1,000 pages of medical records. Now people… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Isn't that what you really want in a jean? The ability to kick people in the face in them? I don't wanna… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
And then you've got Lieberman, who is for the war. And thinks the tax cuts could really help. He's basically for people… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I don't think, if anything, I don't think it's a feeling of hopelessness that people feel. I think if they feel -… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Everybody thought Barack Obama was going to [inspire people] when he came to Washington, but, you know, the Senate seems like the… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
One of the things that I do think government counts on is that people are busy. And it's very difficult to mobilize… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
To the people who are upset about their hard-earned tax money going to things they don’t like: welcome to the f*cking club.… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I don't know how people feel,that's the beauty of TV, is they can see us, but we can't see them. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I reject the idea there are just two sides. I think that with the amount of ideas and thoughts there are, it's not even… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Megachurches. I can't be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed welfare and… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You know, in Saudi Arabia, you're innocent until proven Jewish. Female. Guilty! They're guilty! — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates the use of 's.'… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
![“Everybody thought Barack Obama was going to [inspire people] when he came to Washington, but, you know, the Senate seems like the place where smart people go to die.” quote by Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/5ff/jon-stewart-455_barack_everybody-thought-barack-obama-was-going_738803.jpg)
