Sitting around with funny people, banging out jokes and creating a television show. I have no hobbies, no outside interests. I'm fine… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
People are very sophisticated consumers of information, and they're pulling all different things. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
What are you so mad about? That we still have a government? We still have “traffic lights.” We’re sorry. The government’s not… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Any fool can blow something up. Any fool can destroy. But to see these guys, these firefighters and these policemen and people… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I don't think, if anything, I don't think it's a feeling of hopelessness that people feel. I think if they feel -… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Donald Rumsfeld. Love him or hate him, you've gotta admit: a lot of people hate him. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Michael Brown, the director of FEMA, was nominated by President Bush in 2003 and plans to start the job any day now.… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The overwhelming condemnation makes it clear we have made enormous progress in teaching everyone that racism is bad. Where we seem to… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Nobody cares that Mitt Romney is rich. It's Romney's inability to understand the institutional advantage that he gains from the government’s tax… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Some people have criticized the United States and the United States military for guarding oil fields and not guarding the Iraqi National… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Corporations are the only reason the tax code is so complicated in the first place. Those off-shore loopholes didn't get carved out… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I think that, if we do anything in a positive sense for the world, is provide one little bit of context, that's… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Gay people can't be proud of the country and want to defend it too. What's the army afraid is going to happen… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The American people, or at least the ones that I get on the subway with - they know there's a real threat… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
All in all it's a pretty great day for major league sports. At long last they've decided that gay people are fit… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
In fourteen hundred ninety-two Columbus sailed the ocean blue and discovered America. Now, some have argued Columbus actually discovered the West Indies,… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
President Bush announced his new economic plan. The centerpiece was a proposed repeal of the dividend tax on stocks, a boon that… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
If you're going to give people 20 minutes of news satire, you've also got to give them Tiffani-Amber Thiessen or you're going… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
In whose delusional mind is democracy made 'better' by allowing wealthy people to control more of it? — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
It's a travesty that people have forced someone who is gay to have to make their case that they deserve the same… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You talk about the Pro-Life movement being one of the great shames of our nation. I think, if you want number two,… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Republicans are no longer allowed to say that people are rich. You have to refer to them as 'job creator.' You can't… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about, and… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I don't know how people feel,that's the beauty of TV, is they can see us, but we can't see them. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I reject the idea there are just two sides. I think that with the amount of ideas and thoughts there are, it's not even… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Megachurches. I can't be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed welfare and… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You know, in Saudi Arabia, you're innocent until proven Jewish. Female. Guilty! They're guilty! — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates the use of 's.'… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
