The beautiful thing about faking a news show is the topicality is delayed. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
[John McCain] didn't believe me. I think anybody who's been in a POW camp for five years can - take eight minutes… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
That's the beauty of our show. Comedy or politics. We're sort of a mix. A space age polymer of both. A synthetic… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You're on CNN. The show that leads into me is puppets making crank phone calls. What is wrong with you? — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Never name it after yourself. Maybe we'll throw a with in there. That seems to work. Like Late Show With David Letterman. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
When my syndicated show got canceled, the next day I still knew how to write jokes. That was a huge revelation. Because… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Maybe we should always show pictures. Bin Laden, pictures of our wounded service people, pictures of maimed innocent civilians. We can only… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I think people are used to people in show business having a lot of hubris. I think I have a normal amount… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Our show is obviously at a disadvantage with any of the other news shows we're competing against. For one thing, we are… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I always get that cautionary warning right before I get off the phone with an interviewer. It's: 'Good luck with the show.… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
It's great having Bruce Springsteen on my show. We have so much in common! We're both from New Jersey, just from different… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
At first the difference will be in whatever atmosphere I bring into it. It's not going to be like, 'I really want… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I know that my job is to perform, it wouldn't be a very interesting show if I just came out one day… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The frustration of our [The Daily] show is- very much outside any parameters of the media or the government. We don't have… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The real challenge is when I'm at work, I'm at work. I'm locked in, I'm ready to go, I'm focused. When I'm… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The country's 24 hour political pundit perpetual panic conflictinator did not cause our problems but its existence makes solving them that much… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
If you want, you can try and get a broader perspective, or you can find people who are absolutely out of their… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You think that sense of humor goes as far as our ideology. I think that ultimately, we have we have very interesting… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
People would like to place a standard on our show that doesn't exist. We're not set up for reporting; we don't have… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Some people have criticized the United States and the United States military for guarding oil fields and not guarding the Iraqi National… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Sitting around with funny people, banging out jokes and creating a television show. I have no hobbies, no outside interests. I'm fine… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
But the main thing I don't want to be is un-funny. That's really the mandate. Just whatever we're doing, make it as… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I don't know how people feel,that's the beauty of TV, is they can see us, but we can't see them. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I reject the idea there are just two sides. I think that with the amount of ideas and thoughts there are, it's not even… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Megachurches. I can't be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed welfare and… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You know, in Saudi Arabia, you're innocent until proven Jewish. Female. Guilty! They're guilty! — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates the use of 's.'… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
![“[John McCain] didn't believe me. I think anybody who's been in a POW camp for five years can - take eight minutes on The Daily Show.” quote by Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/3bf/jon-stewart-455_believe_john-mccain-didn-t-believe-me-i-think-an_2768070.jpg)
![“The frustration of our [The Daily] show is- very much outside any parameters of the media or the government. We don't have access to these people, we don't have access. We don't go to dinners we don't have cocktail parties. We don't you know, you've seen what happens when one of us ends up at the…” quote by Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/2cc/jon-stewart-455_access_the-frustration-of-our-the-daily-show-is_3100466.jpg)
