Bush's popularity is at 40% in South America? He could be their president! — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Don't worry, as long as America still has natural resources, you guys are okay. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
If America leads a blessed life, then why did God put all of our oil under people who hate us? — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Liberal and conservative have lost their meaning in America. I represent the distracted center. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
To have not shot his friend in the face would have sent a message to the quail that America is weak. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
So Fox News is the voice of America and Obama is Stalin? Oh my God! I guess that makes me Yakov Smirnoff. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
It's like America has a dog that's always shitting inside the house, and we solved the problem by getting a brown rug. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
If it turns out that President Barack Obama can make a deal with the most intransigent, hard-line, unreasonable, totalitarian mullahs in the… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
That is the American experiment. An ethnic group arriving on America's shores, to be reviled and hazed, living in squalor, or if… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
America has had to deal with eccentric dictators in the past: Idi Amin, Muammar Qaddafi, Ming the Merciless... but now the security… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The wisdom of the masses is not always wise. You could put a lot of things to a vote-you could have put… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Really, an historic night last night. You may have heard, Barack Obama will be the first black president of the United States… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Yes, the long war on Christianity. I pray that one day we may live in an America where Christians can worship freely!… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The building housing America's military brass is a five-sided pentagon, but somehow, the people in it still manage to make it the… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
In fourteen hundred ninety-two Columbus sailed the ocean blue and discovered America. Now, some have argued Columbus actually discovered the West Indies,… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I have to say, as someone who is not a Christian, it’s hard for me to believe Christians are a persecuted people… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
North Korea is making several demands in exchange for giving up their nuclear program, including a promise from America not to attack… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The Republican party is the party of nostalgia. It seeks to return America to a simpler, more innocent and moral past that… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Everybody talks about the entitlement generation. There is no time I'd rather live in than now, and there is no generation I… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I don't know how people feel,that's the beauty of TV, is they can see us, but we can't see them. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I reject the idea there are just two sides. I think that with the amount of ideas and thoughts there are, it's not even… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Megachurches. I can't be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed welfare and… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You know, in Saudi Arabia, you're innocent until proven Jewish. Female. Guilty! They're guilty! — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates the use of 's.'… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
