America Quotes by Jon Stewart

Nobody out-rednecks the great state of America.

— Jon Stewart

Well, I'm sold. I'll take one America.

— Jon Stewart

Bush's popularity is at 40% in South America? He could be their president!

— Jon Stewart

Congress, the legislative stone in America's urethra.

— Jon Stewart

No one is better at not beating America than England.

— Jon Stewart

Liberal and conservative have lost their meaning in America. I represent the distracted center.

— Jon Stewart

So Fox News is the voice of America and Obama is Stalin? Oh my God! I guess that makes me Yakov Smirnoff.

— Jon Stewart

To have not shot his friend in the face would have sent a message to the quail that America is weak.

— Jon Stewart

Don't worry, as long as America still has natural resources, you guys are okay.

— Jon Stewart

It's like America has a dog that's always shitting inside the house, and we solved the problem by getting a brown rug.

— Jon Stewart

If America leads a blessed life, then why did God put all of our oil under people who hate us?

— Jon Stewart

If it turns out that President Barack Obama can make a deal with the most intransigent, hard-line, unreasonable, totalitarian mullahs in the…

— Jon Stewart

After going to war against the U.N.'s expressed wishes, the U.S. is now admitting it needs the U.N.'s help. It's the geopolitical…

— Jon Stewart

America has had to deal with eccentric dictators in the past: Idi Amin, Muammar Qaddafi, Ming the Merciless... but now the security…

— Jon Stewart

That is the American experiment. An ethnic group arriving on America's shores, to be reviled and hazed, living in squalor, or if…

— Jon Stewart

North Korea is making several demands in exchange for giving up their nuclear program, including a promise from America not to attack…

— Jon Stewart

In fourteen hundred ninety-two Columbus sailed the ocean blue and discovered America. Now, some have argued Columbus actually discovered the West Indies,…

— Jon Stewart

Really, an historic night last night. You may have heard, Barack Obama will be the first black president of the United States…

— Jon Stewart

The Republican party is the party of nostalgia. It seeks to return America to a simpler, more innocent and moral past that…

— Jon Stewart

Yes, the long war on Christianity. I pray that one day we may live in an America where Christians can worship freely!…

— Jon Stewart

The building housing America's military brass is a five-sided pentagon, but somehow, the people in it still manage to make it the…

— Jon Stewart

Everybody talks about the entitlement generation. There is no time I'd rather live in than now, and there is no generation I…

— Jon Stewart

I have to say, as someone who is not a Christian, it’s hard for me to believe Christians are a persecuted people…

— Jon Stewart

The wisdom of the masses is not always wise. You could put a lot of things to a vote-you could have put…

— Jon Stewart