Bad jokes and gay marriage are destroying this country. But torture can save it. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
One of the things that I do think government counts on is that people are busy. And it's very difficult to mobilize… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
But our perfect democracy, which neither needs nor particularly wants voters, is a rarity. It is important to remember there still exist… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Poor Al Gore. Global warming completely debunked via the very internet you invented. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I don't approve of political jokes; I have seen too many of them get elected. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
(Terrorists) are planning to disrupt our democratic process. It's scary I know, but we're not going to let al Qaeda tell us… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
People don't understand that we're not warriors in their cause. We're a group of people that really feel that they want to… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The Oscars is the one night of the year when you can see all your favorite stars without having to donate any… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
“Each party has a platform--a pre-fixed menu of beliefs making up its worldview. The candidate can choose one of the two platforms,… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
If it turns out that President Barack Obama can make a deal with the most intransigent, hard-line, unreasonable, totalitarian mullahs in the… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
What's with the poverty Tourette's? Why do these two think we need a hobo for president? — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I'm less upset with politicians than the media. I feel like politicians, there is a certain, inherent - you know, the way… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Robert Torricelli, a powerful fund-raiser who helped raise more than $100 million for the Democratic party, took inappropriate gifts from a businessman,… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I have become increasingly unnerved by the depth of corruption that exists at many different levels. I'm less upset with politicians than… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
That's the beauty of our show. Comedy or politics. We're sort of a mix. A space age polymer of both. A synthetic… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Critics have noted Schwarzenegger's only previous government experience was serving under President Bush senior as Chairman of the Council of Physical Fitness,… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I heard Dennis Kucinich say in a debate, 'When I'm president... and I just wanted to stop him and say, 'Dude.' — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I don't think politics is any longer about a conversation with the country. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The government is just you know, blowing the doors off the media. And not everywhere, and I think, this is where you… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Just every moment with Dick Cheney has been my favorite. Here's what I wonder about Dick Cheney, and the reason that maybe… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The only time a politico will try to avoid playing the blame game is when they or theirs are to blame. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
“As heirs to a legacy more than two centuries old, it is understandable why present-day Americans would take their own democracy for… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I don't know how people feel,that's the beauty of TV, is they can see us, but we can't see them. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I reject the idea there are just two sides. I think that with the amount of ideas and thoughts there are, it's not even… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Megachurches. I can't be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed welfare and… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You know, in Saudi Arabia, you're innocent until proven Jewish. Female. Guilty! They're guilty! — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates the use of 's.'… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
