Ronald Reagan came from show business. His idea of how the government should help the homeless was like your agent. "We'll try… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Marvel Comics announced that the next Captain America will be black. He has the same powers as white Captain America, except he… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I was brought up Catholic and we show my mom, my mother, my sister and then I take pains to explain on… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New polls show that Obama is now pulling away from Mitt Romney. And, of course, what could be more natural than to… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
In New York now, they have Harvey Milk High School for gay students. They don't have much of a football team, but… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I'll show you Obama's birth certificate when you show me Sarah Palin's high school diploma. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please, I used to pull the same trick.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
All I did was tell the truth. That's is what the whole show is about! And if Politically Incorrect has to go… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
People say to me all the time, "I get my news from your show." And that isn't the way they should get… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Did you see Britney Spears at the Video Music Awards? I don't want to say that that performance was a disaster, but… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I'm more likely to not invite someone back for not talking. If someone talks a lot, I can usually shut them up… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I was watching Ashlee Simpson on Jay's show last night... She was really singing, and I was saying, 'Bring back the lip… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
When I do stand-up around the country, I often see people walk out. This is a show that they've purposely gone to,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Arnold was on the 'Today' show today, he was a little light on specifics. He said he could solve California's $38 billion… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Clinton left the White House with all the class of an XFL halftime show. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Many people can't deal with unanswered questions, which religion exploits by providing answers, even if they are just made up by someone.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
On the show, I do a very serious thing. And a lot of people have a hard time reconciling that with what… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Doctors said that the test most commonly used to screen for colon cancer doesn't go far enough. They're recommending a procedure that… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
That's ended, that's over. I want you to meet my pimps. I thought, I'm a show-business ho already, so I might as… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad`s room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
