“A brick and a blanket represent two lovers who can never be together. I simply forbid it! ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a stand in for a liar’s face. Go on, punch that liar in his face. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick can be used as a nickname for people who are slow, both physically and intellectually. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick is slow, when it’s lying on the floor. But fast when just thrown. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be translated into Spanish, and then used to landscape a lawn. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a device to deliver bad news. Sometimes it's better to be blunt. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to raise my spirits. I’m feeling low right now, low by about three inches. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to create a new society, a perfect society, where there is no inequality, there are no laws,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be modified to be a cell phone, for construction workers who miss the easy to find cell phone size… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to back the dollar. Hey, it’s better than the dollar being backed by nothing, right? ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick has eight edges and six sides. That’s nearly as many sides as a politician takes when discussing a binary issue. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to stop a tornado, unlike a mobile home, which only acts like a tornado magnet and seems… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a color in a new line of lipstick, designed to woo the mason of every woman’s… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be dropped in a toilet to replicate the sound of shitting bricks. But we wouldn’t have to go through… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a response when the cops ask you if you murdered your mother-in-law. Forget yes or no.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a blanket, and a blanket could be used as a brick, but not very well and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick is what the aliens gave me to communicate with them. It’s easy to operate. Just go to a party, or… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be a politician, if you attached strings, taught it to dance, and allowed it to read a teleprompter. Remember:… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a musical instrument. It doesn’t matter how bad it sounds, because I’ll be the band’s lead… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a key to unlock a door disguised as a brick wall. The security in the lock… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could make everything better for me. Now, if I could only find a way to get my hands on one.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a hammer, which frees up the hammer to be used as a sex toy. The only… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to silence your critics. Well, unless all your critics are mutes. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to build a future with me. Come, let’s start a life together. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Bricks could be used to build stronger relationships. But so could bribes.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as Bigfoot. You know, as something the people can really believe in. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to make music. But why not use something more humane, like your armpit. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to raise your status as an upstanding citizen. Don’t get too excited, though. It’ll only raise you… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to decorate the interior of your anus. Here, bend over and let me demonstrate. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to help America make money. Trust me, this is smarter than letting a central bank like the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to help the needy. Giving a brick as a gift is a symbol showing you want to… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be analyzed in the lab, broken down into olfactory components, and repackaged as an air freshener that promises that… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to show you how much I love you. Well, maybe not a whole brick, but certainly a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
