Wife tells her travelling husband she's already lost half her weight missing him; his reply is to wait another two weeks.
Wife: Main tumhari yaad mein
15 din mein hi aadhi ho gayi hun,
mujhe lene kab aa rahe ho?
Husband: 15 din aur ruk jao...
Funny SMS: jokes and funny text messages in English and Urdu
Funny SMS / Text Messages
Larkian badal jati hain, larkay nahin
A boy seen with a different girl every day for a week. Moral: girls change, boys don't.
1 larka 1 larki k sath baitha tha,
2nd day dosri larki k sath daikha gia,
3rd day koi aur larki thi
4th day kisi new larki k sath tha
Moral: larkian badal jati hain, larkay nahin badaltay:p
Majnu ko laila ka sms naheen aaya
Majnu nearly starved for three days waiting for Laila's SMS — she was waiting for the free-messaging window to open.
majnu ko laila ka sms naheen aaya,
majnu ne 3 din se khana naheen khaya
majnu marne wala tha laila ke piyar main
aur laila baithi thi sms free honay k intizaar main.
Thappar Maarnay par NaraZ Wife
A husband justifies hitting his wife by saying you only hurt the ones you love. She hits him back twice — to prove she loves him too.
Thappar Maarnay par NaraZ Wife
se Husband bola:
"Aadmi usi ko maarta hai jis se Pyaar krta hai."
Wife ne Husband ko 2 thappar maaray aur
Boli "Aap kya samajhtay hain main Aapse Pyaar nahi kerti"
1 takleef de skata hon?
A polite Lucknowi nawab tries his formal courtesy on a Sardar — and gets a very different kind of response.
A lucknowi nawab meets sardar.
Nawab: Janab kya main apko ek takleef de sakta hoon?
Sardar: O kutty hath to laga,
daikh tujhy zalel kese karta hon
one girl asked to pappu
1 girl ask 2 pappu : woh kia hai jo cow k paas 4 or mere paas 2 hain?
pappu : legs
Girl : woh kia hai jo tumhari pant main hai aur meri pant mein nahi hai?
pappu: paisay
Girl : woh kia hai jo log din main karne k bajaye ko raat bistar pe kartay hain
pappu: neend puri karte hain
girl : woh kia hai jo larki pehli daffa karwate huye pain
ki wajah se roti hai?
pappu : kaan main ched
MORAL : aap bhi apni zehniat pappu ki tarhan saaf rakhain
Maa Gaon mein Fauji aaye hain
Beti: Maa Gaon mein Fauji aaye hain
Maa: andar aaja inki niyat bahut kharab hoti hai
Beti: Maa fauji Pakistani hain
Maa: to bakri ko bhi andar le aa.
1 larki mujh ko hans k dekh rahi hai
A boy tells his friend a girl is smiling at him. Friend corrects the grammar: she's not smiling at you, she's laughing at you.
A boy told his friend,
"yar aik larki mujh ko hans k dekh rahi hai".
Friend answered:
"Sahi se dekh,
hans k dekh rahi hai
ya
dekh k hans rahi hai :-)"
Main nay pocha chand say
Asked the moon if it had seen anyone as beautiful as a friend — moon replies it can't see that far down from up there.
Main nay pocha chand say,
daikha hay kahin mera yaar sa haseen
chand nay kaha:-
Salay itnay upar say dikhta hay kia?
Dil se bolun ik bat main sachi.!
Friendship vow SMS: our bond will never break — but honestly, your photo negative looks better than you do.
Dil se bolun ik bat main sachi.!
Hum Tum ik raftaar k panchi.!
Dosti ye hamari hogi na kabhi kuchi.!
Teri photo se to meri negative hi Achi.!:-)
Woh subah ki thandak
A morning SMS layering poetic sensory details — fresh air, towel scent, clean clothes — then: you wouldn't know any of this, only people who bathe do.
Woh subah ki thandak,
Woh toliye ki khushbu,
Woh shamp ki bottle,
Woh dhule howay kapron ka sakoon,
.
.
.
.
.
Tum kiya jano ye to sirf nahanay
wale hi jante hain:p
Yeh tumhara sulagta hua jism...
Opens with fevered romantic imagery — trembling lips, shaking body, burning skin — then diagnoses the beloved with malaria.
Yeh tumhara sulagta hua jism...
kapkapatay hont....
larkharati Aawaz...
thartharata badan .
.
.
.
mujhe pehle se shak tha
k tumhain Malaria hai.....