Funny Quote by Steven Wright Download Open image “They say you're not supposed to put metal in a microwave oven. They're right.” — Steven Wright ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 2.8 out of 5 (4 ratings) Copy quoteShare Funny Humor Metals Microwaves Ovens Psychology
I don't have a microwave oven, but I do have a clock that occasionally cooks stuff. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I very briefly had a microwave oven that I quickly gave away, because I could never work out what they do better than a… — James May Copy Share Image
You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave. — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
Nobody ever follows the part of the instructions that says, 'Let food cool in microwave for 1 to 2 minutes.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's not the microwave that's the problem, it's what people put into them. I know people lead busy lives but they should try to… — Raymond Blanc Copy Share Image
In the amount of time it takes to microwave a TV dinner, you can put something much tastier on the table, I promise. — Michael Pollan Copy Share Image
Food that sizzles and pops in the microwave and then come out cold is the reason I have trust issues — Anonymous Copy Share Image
To me when a mother puts food in a microwave for her children, it is an act of hate — Raymond Blanc Copy Share Image
To be quite frank, people shouldn't have to resort to going without heating, putting foil on the backs of their radiators, fleece on their… — Ulrika Jonsson Copy Share Image
My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked,… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
Nobody can really compare a relationship in which the victim is 15 years old to one where she's 6. While both criminal, they're very different circumstances. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
It's very intense to be in front of a live audience. It's just an amazing experience. It's dangerous. Everything out there is heightened. The… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'do you know the speed limit here is 55 miles per hour?'. So I… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.” — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
When I'm on stage, it's really intense. My mind is going a million miles an hour, trying to remember my act, trying to say… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I don't like politicians, and I don't like politics. I definitely don't want to be associated with any of them. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
When you step out and do a song in a musical, the easier thing to do is make it funny. But when those transitions… — Kelli O'Hara Copy Share Image
It's a hard thing to describe. It's just this sense that you got something to say. — Jonah Lehrer Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Congratulations to Facebook on going public with all my private information... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently? — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
