Clock Quote by Mitch Hedberg Download Open image “I don't have a microwave oven, but I do have a clock that occasionally cooks stuff.” — Mitch Hedberg ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.2 out of 5 (8 ratings) Copy quoteShare Clock Cooks Funny Humor Microwaves Ovens Stuff
I very briefly had a microwave oven that I quickly gave away, because I could never work out what they do better than a… — James May Copy Share Image
The microwave oven is one of the modern objects that convey the most elemental feeling of power over the passing seconds ... If you… — James Gleick Copy Share Image
They say you're not supposed to put metal in a microwave oven. They're right. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
In the amount of time it takes to microwave a TV dinner, you can put something much tastier on the table, I promise. — Michael Pollan Copy Share Image
It's not the microwave that's the problem, it's what people put into them. I know people lead busy lives but they should try to… — Raymond Blanc Copy Share Image
I'm truly grateful for my microwave, which allows me to easily clarify butter, steam vegetables, and - when I am really lazy - feed… — Sara Gruen Copy Share Image
I don't wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same. So if somebody asks me what time it is, I… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
There was a product on late night TV that you could attach to your garden hose - "You can water your hard-to-reach plants with… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Imagine if you were a drummer, and you accidentally picked up two magic wands instead of sticks. There you are, keeping the beat, the… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I like wearing necklaces, because it lets me know when I'm upside down. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I'm sick of Soup Of The Day, man. It's time we make a decision. I need to know what Soup From Now On is. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I have a friend who is a juggler. If I'm at his house, I don't like to take food from him, if it's in… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I don't get the regular AIDS test anymore. I get the roundabout AIDS test. I ask my friend Brian, "Do you know anybody who… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I don't know how to fix a car. If the car breaks down, and the gas tank does not say "E", I'm screwed. But… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
What's a sesame seed grow into? I don't know we never give them a chance, what the fuck is a sesame?! It's a street...… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I went to a restaurant with my friend, and he said, "Pass the salt." I said, "Screw you! Sit closer to the salt." — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
A clock struck out the hour of twelve, and the bird in the hedgerow was still singing as we marched out to the roadway,… — Patrick MacGill Copy Share Image
Steven Spielberg seems to have wanted to be a director from 13. He put his dog in a certain position and made him eat… — Albert Brooks Copy Share Image
No life goes past so swiftly as an eventless one, no clock spins like a clock whose days are all alike. — Wallace Stegner Copy Share Image
Those who stop marketing to save money are like those who stop a clock to save time. — Henry Ford Copy Share Image
I don't know if it's just me or everyone, but the whole vibe with skiing is not so much thriving on competition against others… — Picabo Street Copy Share Image
CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
You get 15 minutes of fame, I hear, and I've had 14 minutes. The clock's ticking. — Tim Howard Copy Share Image
For the most part, improvising while cameras are rolling is very difficult. 99% of people you should never ask to do that, because they're… — Albert Brooks Copy Share Image
You're punishing him over and over for things that are out of his control. Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't have a fully loaded… — Suzanne Collins Copy Share Image
