Comedy Quote by Jim Gaffigan Download Open image “Bacon is like the opposite of medicine. It's like, "Take that, Lipitor."” — Jim Gaffigan ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.7 out of 5 (6 ratings) Copy quoteShare Comedy Funny Medicine Opposites
You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Bacon is clearly a food made by the Nazis to fatten up Americans. It has no nutritional value, is full of fat, sodium, and… — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
“It's bacon. How can anything in the world seem bleak when one is eating bacon?” — Julia Quinn Copy Share Image
Heart disease has changed my eating habits, but I still cook bacon for the smell. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Listen to this, okay? Just listen. You hear that? That's market bacon hitting the pan. Today a child is born unto us, and his… — Bryan Lee O'Malley Copy Share Image
“Do that and the carbs will only drag you down, make you mentally foggy. Stick with protein while writing. By the way, bacon is… — Chuck Wendig Copy Share Image
Stand-up comedy in the end, unlike the rest of the entertainment industry, is a meritocracy. There's a certain level of undeniability you can work… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I think growing up in Indiana prepares anyone for a life in comedy. I do feel like there is a certain kind of self-effacing… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Besides hot pockets keeps introducing new products every 10 minutes so I always have new stuff on the topic. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
“The song goes, “Morning has broken,” and I’m pretty sure my children broke it. Like everything else they break, if they did break it,… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I am single, I don't drink. It's kind of hard to get a woman buzzed when you don't drink. You'll be like, "Yeah, I'll… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Babies and toddlers are mostly what I've been exposed to at this point. I'm hoping parenting just gets much easier after this. It does,… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Isn't it strange -- when you're single, all you see is couples, and when you're part of a couple, all you see are hookers. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I usually don't have a burger, a brat, and a steak but it is 4th of July. And I need the energy if I'm… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
“If you complain about how you spend your Saturdays taking your kid to birthday parties, that means you are taking your kid to birthday… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I believe that comedians do what they do, and then they get credit or criticism for doing it. There's nothing planned about this. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
'Mad TV' is one of my most favorite shows of all time and is a huge part of my obsession with sketch comedy. — Shane Dawson Copy Share Image
I wouldn't want people to laugh at me. That's why I have to give all that I can, and at least produce something that… — Zhao Wei Copy Share Image
“Our world will not die as a result of the bomb, as the papers say, it will die of laughter, of banality, of making a joke… — Carlos Ruiz Zafon Copy Share Image
In the future, I would like to do more films with contemporary themes. Perhaps comedy, which is something I have done in theater but… — Luke Evans Copy Share Image
That's something a lot of folks don't know about me - I'm pretty darn funny. — Michael Jai White Copy Share Image
I have that need in me, I want everyone to love me, but I'm embarrassed by that need, so I wanted to cover it… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
There's a difference between delivering real funny and just silly funny. — Lil Rel Howery Copy Share Image
Oh to that corkscrew, the useful tool to unlock the treasure of wit, the treasury of laughter, the front door of fellowship, and the… — Andrew Guzaldo Copy Share Image
