I curse in everyday life, but usually when I stub my toe. The topics I'm discussing, it's not necessary to curse. I… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I don't want to pick a team. I want to make people laugh and hopefully bring some - be humorous about the… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I need the concept of mercy for me to have some semblance of self-admiration. So in real life, I'm probably somebody who… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I wouldn't say that comedy brought me away from it.I think that my idea of faith was another obligation in my life. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
What kind of life are you leading where you consider ketchup fancy? "Well, we ain't rich folk, but on special occasions, I'll… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I think growing up in Indiana prepares anyone for a life in comedy. I do feel like there is a certain kind… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
“We take pictures of everyday life and act like we are capturing history. “Unbelievable! The cat is asleep.” — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
The ridiculousness and idiocy of life is embraced and examined. It nurtures the childhood perspective in everyone. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
There were times in my life when I had one thing to do all day, but I still couldn’t get to it.… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
“I’m not offended, but the implication that all improper behavior is the result of what I do for a living is rather… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Life is a little easier for attractive people. Think about it: if a stranger smiles at you and they’re attractive, you think,… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
“So why a book? Well, since you’ve come into my life, you’ve been a constant source of entertainment while simultaneously driving me… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I reached a point in my life where I didn't really like who I was.I was married to an amazing woman. I… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Stand-up comedy in the end, unlike the rest of the entertainment industry, is a meritocracy. There's a certain level of undeniability you can work… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I think growing up in Indiana prepares anyone for a life in comedy. I do feel like there is a certain kind of self-effacing… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Besides hot pockets keeps introducing new products every 10 minutes so I always have new stuff on the topic. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
“The song goes, “Morning has broken,” and I’m pretty sure my children broke it. Like everything else they break, if they did break it,… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I am single, I don't drink. It's kind of hard to get a woman buzzed when you don't drink. You'll be like, "Yeah, I'll… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Babies and toddlers are mostly what I've been exposed to at this point. I'm hoping parenting just gets much easier after this. It does,… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Isn't it strange -- when you're single, all you see is couples, and when you're part of a couple, all you see are hookers. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I usually don't have a burger, a brat, and a steak but it is 4th of July. And I need the energy if I'm… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
“If you complain about how you spend your Saturdays taking your kid to birthday parties, that means you are taking your kid to birthday… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I believe that comedians do what they do, and then they get credit or criticism for doing it. There's nothing planned about this. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
![“I curse in everyday life, but usually when I stub my toe. The topics I'm discussing, it's not necessary to curse. I found [cursing] is a sign that a joke is not finished or well-written.” quote by Jim Gaffigan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/cf2/jim-gaffigan-580_curse_i-curse-in-everyday-life-but-usually-whe_1432056.jpg)
