Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I'm a comedian, which is the opposite of a lifestyle that equips you to be a parent. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
For a comedian to kind of catch onto something right as something's catching on in our culture, a lot of it is… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
There is this false perception that comedians can never be serious. It's like from like the era of court jesters. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Comedians rarely have writers, and if you do it's usually a sign of laziness. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
There's something about being a parent that has, I think, made me a better comedian. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I don't think comedians make an active decision to be a certain "persona." Comedians write the way they're going to write. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I believe that comedians do what they do, and then they get credit or criticism for doing it. There's nothing planned about… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Even when you hear about a comedian getting married, among comedians, we're always kind of like, what are they doing? — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Comedians kind of write what comes to them. You can give yourself little assignments, but it's what inspires you. So I feel… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I wish, in some ways, I was the type of comedian who could do something blistering and topical, but I'm the guy… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I think when I started doing stand-up, that's when I really tried to question everything in my belief system which is -… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I'd been acting and doing stand-up in New York about eight years, getting rejected, and I finally got the opportunity to do… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I don't have any delusions. I'm not a novelist - I'm a comedian who writes. I love doing the stand-up and the… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Not that I don't think irreverent humor and someone being filthy is funny, I just do what I do. Any comedian would… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
For stand-up comedians that go onstage and get to write and perform and direct, and do all these things, the allure of… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Why would a lazy guy become a parent of five? Then again, why would creative people who inherently don't like change and… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
There's this message to comedians in particular, that you shouldn't write it, and a television writer should write it. And that's a… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I think comedians get too much credit or too much criticism for the style of comedy they do, and they generally do… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Comedians kind of write what comes to them. You can give yourself little assignments, but it's what inspires you. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Comics write to their point of view. If you're an exceedingly irreverent comedian, you've got to see where that point of view… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
The whole idea of celebrity is flattering - it helps you get into restaurants and stuff - but once you obtain some… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I personally have no interest in being a star or a celebrity. I want my stand-up comedy and how I think as… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Stand-up comedy in the end, unlike the rest of the entertainment industry, is a meritocracy. There's a certain level of undeniability you can work… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I think growing up in Indiana prepares anyone for a life in comedy. I do feel like there is a certain kind of self-effacing… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Besides hot pockets keeps introducing new products every 10 minutes so I always have new stuff on the topic. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
“The song goes, “Morning has broken,” and I’m pretty sure my children broke it. Like everything else they break, if they did break it,… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I am single, I don't drink. It's kind of hard to get a woman buzzed when you don't drink. You'll be like, "Yeah, I'll… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Babies and toddlers are mostly what I've been exposed to at this point. I'm hoping parenting just gets much easier after this. It does,… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Isn't it strange -- when you're single, all you see is couples, and when you're part of a couple, all you see are hookers. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I usually don't have a burger, a brat, and a steak but it is 4th of July. And I need the energy if I'm… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
“If you complain about how you spend your Saturdays taking your kid to birthday parties, that means you are taking your kid to birthday… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I believe that comedians do what they do, and then they get credit or criticism for doing it. There's nothing planned about this. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
![“I think comedians get too much credit or too much criticism for the style of comedy they do, and they generally do the style of comedy that works for them. [...] There's no kind of shrewd calculation going into the type of standup we all do. It's like David Cross is supposed to be doing the David…” quote by Jim Gaffigan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/181/jim-gaffigan-580_calculations_i-think-comedians-get-too-much-credit-or_2220899.jpg)
