“When your clothes are aren’t, I’ll be there trying to get invisible with you.” — Jarod Kintz Clothes Copy Share Image
“My resume speaks for itself, so to speak. I recorded it on a tape recorder.” — Jarod Kintz Resume Copy Share Image
“Welcome to,to,to,to,to Stutterville! P,p,p,please have a seat on your own lap.” — Jarod Kintz Seat Copy Share Image
“I’m a boss walker. That’s why I stroll along holding my own hand. ” — Jarod Kintz Walker Copy Share Image
“Communicating, like undressing someone, can effectively be done with your eyes.” — Jarod Kintz Communicating Copy Share Image
“My OCD governs my actions like a governor, but I didn’t vote for it. No, I voted for Dora J. Arod.” — Jarod Kintz Didn Vote Copy Share Image
“To forgive is Godly. To begrudge is manly. I don’t even have any chest hair, so you know where I stand.” — Jarod Kintz Forgiveness Copy Share Image
“Is my conversation putting you to sleep, or is the rufie I slipped in your dog food finally starting to kick in?” — Jarod Kintz Communication Copy Share Image
“Two become one when two are in love—or when the waitress asks about our dinner bill. I’ll pay next time, I promise.” — Jarod Kintz Next time Copy Share Image
“I thought I did, but I guess I didn’t. But I did think I did, and it’s the thought that counts, right?” — Jarod Kintz Thinking Copy Share Image
“I dreamt it in my dream. You tried to steal my dream—the whole thing. But even though it was a dream, it… — Jarod Kintz Dream Copy Share Image
“When I meet a European, the first thing I say is, “I’d much rather watch football than football.” But I’m just teasing… — Jarod Kintz Football Copy Share Image
“I submitted a poem last night to The New Yorker. They said it can take up to three months to hear back.… — Jarod Kintz Last night Copy Share Image
“It’s tough to lose one parent, but to lose two—in a murder/suicide no less! But it’s OK, soon after the incident I… — Jarod Kintz Parent Copy Share Image
“The canvas isn’t empty. It’s full of whatever you imagine it to be full of. My art is so conceptual that not… — Jarod Kintz Art Copy Share Image
“I conceal myself behind cynicism because it’s safe. Camouflage is more protective than body armor. Why do you think the Department of… — Jarod Kintz Camouflage Copy Share Image
“I asked her if she’d give me all her love, and she flatly said no. I got excited because while she said… — Jarod Kintz Love Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used as a tarp to cover an outdoor swimming pool the size of a bed. As far as… — Jarod Kintz Swimming pool Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to tell people a thousand miles and a thousand years away hello. Greetings European people of 3013!… — Jarod Kintz Blanket Copy Share Image
“The Builders are building with you in mind, dear citizen, so don’t worry your tiny mind about whether the bricks they are… — Jarod Kintz Builders Copy Share Image
“Sometimes I wear sunglasses while I urinate, and pretend that my pee is a solar laser beam that will cut through my… — Jarod Kintz Every day Copy Share Image
“Dating is all about getting to know somebody, without wasting a lot of time or money. What is the price of love?… — Jarod Kintz Assembly line Copy Share Image
“My dream as a boy was to write a coloring book, but the nagging problem was always, How do you write a… — Jarod Kintz Books Copy Share Image
“The best description of this book is found within the title. The full title of this book is: "This is the story… — Jarod Kintz Book Copy Share Image
“Before I walked into the door, the room got shades darker as a cloud did a summersault in front of the sun.… — Jarod Kintz Fifth grade Copy Share Image
“We’re not so different, you and I. Sure, we may have different religious beliefs, political outlooks, sexual orientations, economic viewpoints, and artistic/literary/culinary… — Jarod Kintz Harvard university Copy Share Image
“So I am to be Robert’s replacement. On the one hand, there is no pressure, because it’s not like I am replacing… — Jarod Kintz Body love Copy Share Image
“I really relate to you,” I said to my dad. “I can tell we’re in the same boat, because I’m rowing.” When… — Jarod Kintz Dad Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. We were in a band. I was the lead singer, guitar player, saxophonist, harpist, violinist, bassist,… — Jarod Kintz Dream Copy Share Image
