“A brick could be used as brain filler for the political mind, just in case one of our elected officials needs a… — Jarod Kintz Politics Copy Share Image
“My last name comes after my first name, but it came before my first name, and it’ll be around after my first… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’ve been writing for about eleven years. I went from elfish to elephantish, and in another eleven years I hope to be… — Jarod Kintz Writing Copy Share Image
“I put all my eggs in one basket, and then I jizzed all over them. I'm a natural politician.” — Jarod Kintz Politics Copy Share Image
“It’s been said that you make as much money as the average income of your five closest friends. Well, I have no… — Jarod Kintz Closest friends Copy Share Image
“I’m 6’3”, but you would think I was Napoleon’s height because I’m slouched over with poor posture, and I have a lust… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Sometimes I ask myself, "Do I have the courage to do the right thing when it matters most?" And that answer, I'm… — Jarod Kintz Courage Copy Share Image
“I want to create moonglasses, and then write a song called, "I Wear My Moonglasses at Noon." Hopefully, with a little lunar… — Jarod Kintz Song Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. You were learning to compose music like Mozart, and I was learning to listen like Beethoven.… — Jarod Kintz Dream Copy Share Image
“I suggested to her that she start writing. "I can't write at all," she said. "Neither can many bestsellers," I replied. "But… — Jarod Kintz Writing Copy Share Image
“I’m like a tree frog when it comes to birthdays. Basically, my thoughts on birthdays can be summed up in two words:… — Jarod Kintz Birthday Copy Share Image
“Your mother, my mother, and mother of pearl walk into a bar, and the bartender says, “Hello, dad, you look more like… — Jarod Kintz French revolution Copy Share Image
“If I replaced my ears with conch shells, would you surf on the sound waves?” — Jarod Kintz Sound waves Copy Share Image
“The Italians say “Chow.” To them it means “Bye,” but to me it means food. Of the greetings, goodbye is the desert.” — Jarod Kintz Food Copy Share Image
“There’s moisture in my madness. I should start keeping my insanity in Tupperware containers.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I was hoping you’d leave the back door open for me, I said as he turned around to bend over and pick… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to say I’m sorry without using words, gestures, body language, facial expressions, or telepathy. I’ve always thought… — Jarod Kintz Body language Copy Share Image
“I don’t understand why you don’t trust me. It’s not like you have a reason to not trust me. So, lend me… — Jarod Kintz Money Copy Share Image
“What ends in a W, has no beginning, and is always in the present? Now.” — Jarod Kintz Anger Copy Share Image
“After losing my job, I felt the only options available to me were razors, cyanide, or a shot to the face, until… — Jarod Kintz Friendship Copy Share Image
