“Put your middle finger and your thumb together. And make it snappy. ” — Jarod Kintz Middle finger Copy Share Image
“My brother’s a big dog guy. He’s 7’2” and half man, half man’s best friend.” — Jarod Kintz Best friend Copy Share Image
“He was a cheeky bastard, especially when he talked with a thong in his mouth.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Candy is full of taste. But so is shit, because taste is full of smell.” — Jarod Kintz Candy Copy Share Image
“I’d rather coin a few words than coin a few quarters, nickels, or dimes.” — Jarod Kintz Coin Copy Share Image
“A brick could be placed down on the first step on the path to enlightenment.” — Jarod Kintz First step Copy Share Image
“My meat smells like cat food. Makes me want to lick my own asshole.” — Jarod Kintz Cat food Copy Share Image
“I want instant coffee at the snap of my fingers that gives me more energy than that generated by a million snaps.” — Jarod Kintz Coffee Copy Share Image
“At Starbucks I like ordering a “Tall venti in a grande cup.” That’s basically me asking for a small large in a… — Jarod Kintz Coffee Copy Share Image
“She had amber-colored eyes. Or maybe they were blue, and I was confusing their color with her name, which was Amber.” — Jarod Kintz Amber Copy Share Image
“I found a pristine lake, undisturbed by man. So, of course I had to clang a few pots and piss in the… — Jarod Kintz Lake Copy Share Image
“I had no idea he thought he was funny, tried to be funny, or actually is funny until he made me laugh… — Jarod Kintz Funny Copy Share Image
“I’m like a praying mantis, except not so devout. And I make love like a monk in meditation, which can often be… — Jarod Kintz Love Copy Share Image
“If love had the texture of a turtle, and the taste of a rabbit, would you say we’re moving too fast in… — Jarod Kintz Love Copy Share Image
“I like to hike in state parks, but one thing I can’t stand is pants. So I don’t wear any. My wallet… — Jarod Kintz Wallet Copy Share Image
“At my ten-year high school reunion, I was voted best looking. Of course, there were two people in my high school, and… — Jarod Kintz Graduating class Copy Share Image
“Order for Jarod,” she said as I walked over to pick it up. This was it, this was my moment. Rebecca has… — Jarod Kintz Smile Copy Share Image
“I think we should change the amount of time in each day. Sunday thru Friday should be reduced from 24 hours down… — Jarod Kintz Friday Copy Share Image
“I’m a miner, and I’m always dirty, because I’m constantly digging. Am I shoveling for gold? Hardly. I’m unearthing this hearty land… — Jarod Kintz Dig deep Copy Share Image
“Call me paranoid, but the shape the human hand makes when extending out for a handshake looks suspiciously like a karate chop.… — Jarod Kintz Handshake Copy Share Image
“You can’t write with dry ink. Likewise, using another author’s dried words to make your writing more fluid is not only dishonest,… — Jarod Kintz Books Copy Share Image
“If there are two clones, one good and one evil, I can’t kill on sight alone. It’s the same with love. Some… — Jarod Kintz Clones Copy Share Image
“The rumor is that my cousin dates phoenix sculptures made out of cheese. It has to be true, because it's too weird… — Jarod Kintz Food Copy Share Image
“This work is the link between my Dear Natalie piece and my upcoming Agatha work. It bridges that lapse in time and… — Jarod Kintz Books Copy Share Image
“I can’t charge you 99 cents for a book called 99 Cents For Some Nonsense, because that would make sense. However, I… — Jarod Kintz Books Copy Share Image
“My computer set-up is crazy. I have wireless set up on my iMac, aimed at a router, which itself is perfectly angled… — Jarod Kintz Computers Copy Share Image
“The best way to get America back to work, and reduce our deficit, is hire all the photographers in the country, position… — Jarod Kintz Gas prices Copy Share Image
“I had a few good professors in my painting and drawing classes, but all my graphic design classes tried to teach us… — Jarod Kintz Chuck norris Copy Share Image
“It’s like my grandpa always used to say, ‘A butter knife would make a deadlier weapon than a melting stick of butter.’”… — Jarod Kintz Ball player Copy Share Image
“God, the devil, and Orafoura were walking along a river one day when they came across three naked women splashing in the… — Jarod Kintz God Copy Share Image
“Dear Miss Hummingbird, The leaves are turning green now, but not with envy. But they should be envious, because I, Jarod Ora… — Jarod Kintz Doing Copy Share Image
