Humor Quotes · Page 122

You can send a lot of instruction through laughter.

— Jeffrey Tambor

It is a very dangerous thing to know one’s friends.

— Oscar Wilde

“A WOMAN'S PLACE IS IN THE HOUSE...AND THE SENATE.”

— Kristin Hannah

A sense of humor is the only divine quality of man.

— Arthur Schopenhauer

Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.

— W. C. Fields

“Boys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses.”

— Jennifer Echols

Dear MTV, What the f*ck happened? Sincerely, Music.

— Anonymous

“He was terrified, he was thrilled. That was love.”

— Lila Dubois

I don't think any writer is a friend to the reader if he or she is not funny.

— Amitava Kumar

“Really?" I say. "Can you be any more conceited?" He nods. "Yes. Yes, I can.”

— Wendy Mills

When I write, I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in his mouth.

— Kurt Vonnegut

I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.

— Henny Youngman

“There are levels of humor. The level above mine is invisible and inaudible.”

— Jarod Kintz

My way of joking is to tell the truth. That's the funniest joke in the world.

— Muhammad Ali

“Emma, okay, enough with the singing. Mommy's getting a three-pill headache.”

— Jeff Abbott

Presidents, whether things are good or bad, get the blame. I understand that.

— George W. Bush

I experimented with my own one-man show a couple of years ago in Aspen when HBO used to have their comedy festival…

— Alan Zweibel

Have you seen the film Histoires D'Amérique? It's also a mixture of humor and monologue, and it shows how the Jewish humor…

— Chantal Akerman

A lot of people dont get my humor. My mom calls it dry humor. I think that means not funny, but it…

— Jhiess Krieg

“Sugar Lips, you have a guest in the fourth dimension. I repeat, you have a guest in the fourth dimension. This is…

— Jenny B. Jones

“Murdering anything is just plain criminal, but a Southerner murdering a magnolia? Well, that's an unforgivable sacrilege against nautre and the South.”

— Beth Hoffman

“Vivian, I'd like to give you my heart, but since that might be inconvenient I've brought you someone else's." "Rafe you jerk,…

— Annette Curtis Klause

What is there to say about ChUC other than it's a comedy show done the right way in the right space. Fantastic…

— Kyle Kinane

This was my attempt to deter cold callers: "There's no past, there's no future, just one pulsating present... Please leave your message…

— Bill Bailey

“Viele Wege führen zum Mops, keiner an ihm vorbei!”

— Holly Lavender

“A sens of humor can avoid many misunderstandings.”

— Alin Sav

“I have a shocking memory - I remember everything.”

— Melinda Chapman

“If you're in your own bed, you're not passed out.”

— Charles F. Hedges

“Girls are not born with a devotion to sanitation.”

— Marcia Aldrich

Consumers of comedy, they like me and that's great.

— Ralphie May

“The problem was, the dodos wouldn't stop breeding”

— Stephen Dunkley

Damn girl are you a siren? because ur freaking loud

— Taylor

“In bed, I can go for hours. Oh yes, I love naps.
”

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

“What doesn't kill you will eventually turn you on”

— Erika Lopez

“What can I say, I'm not a people pleasing person.”

— Kim Dallmeier

“Say it, woman." "It. Woman." "God, you're a pain.”

— Kristan Higgins

When you eat an apple you're eating a tree's balls.

— Anonymous

New York is looked at as the grad school of comedy.

— Baron Vaughn

The sky is falling. No, I'm tipping over backwards.

— Steven Wright

How do you get holy water? Boil the hell out of it.

— Hussein Nishah