“Love is bread and water to the soul. My relationships are quite soggy. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Funny Copy Share Image
“I am in love, and the river is beginning to ice over. I’d better go drown myself before I freeze to death. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Cold Copy Share Image
“We had an unspoken love for one another. Probably because she’d never talk to me or return my phone calls or texts. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Communicate Copy Share Image
“Love is the point where Yes meets Yesterday, and that's why I put the No in Now. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Funny Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. In my dream I stole all your money, kidnapped your parents, and mailed you mannequin parts… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Dream Copy Share Image
“I am the Trolley of Love. Free rides before noon and after 11:58 am! ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Free Copy Share Image
“I love that she loves me a 10, on a 5-point scale. Well, I know it’s a 5-point scale, though I asked… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Answer Copy Share Image
“I'm a dog lover and sex addict. Those two things are unrelated. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Animals Copy Share Image
“I make love like sausage is to bacon as brick is to blanket. Somebody get me some utensils. And some lubrication (not… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Brick-and-blanket-test Copy Share Image
“We made love like two people trying to make love like three people in the trunk of a car. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Funny Copy Share Image
“Love is a banana. First you peel it, and then you roll on the condom. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Banana Copy Share Image
“Love isn't two matching unicycles. Love is a bicycle—and mine just got stolen. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Absurd Copy Share Image
“If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? Well, besides an alibi for the time of her husband’s… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Alibi Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. At first you were a mannequin, and I was a fashion designer. Then, inexplicably, we switched… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Dream Copy Share Image
“My love’s got a lot of love to give. Unfortunately, she gives none of it to me. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Funny Copy Share Image
“Love is like encountering a forest and having to chop down every tree but one. Oh, and you have to chop down… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Forestry Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. We installed Dr. Robert Jarvik’s artificial heart in a mannequin and brought it to life, only… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Dream Copy Share Image
“To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Broken Copy Share Image
“I love full on, like 65 mph in a handicapped parking spot. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Absurd Copy Share Image
“Let me be clear: I don’t want to make love to a mannequin—I want to make love like a mannequin. Oh, if… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Animated Copy Share Image
“I make love like a snake disguised as an elephant and a donkey. But I mustn’t talk about sexual congress and Congress… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Congress Copy Share Image
“We made love like green is blue. That’s because we were only half into it, though for the record I was the… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Blue Copy Share Image
“My love is sticky, like glue. I'd kill a horse just to give you some. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Funny Copy Share Image
“I make love like farm equipment—not to farm equipment. There is a difference, though my cousin can’t tell it. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Cousin Copy Share Image
“If I could bronze my love, it’d be worthy of a silver medal. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Bronze Copy Share Image
