“Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“Let me be clear: I don’t want to make love to a mannequin—I want to make love like a mannequin. Oh, if… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“She gave me money to buy condoms, and instead I bought a book of baby names. That’s life. That’s love. That’s fiscally… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“We made love like green is blue. That’s because we were only half into it, though for the record I was the… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. You looked like you, but you also looked like a mannequin. And I looked like me,… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. At first you were a mannequin, and I was a fashion designer. Then, inexplicably, we switched… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. We installed Dr. Robert Jarvik’s artificial heart in a mannequin and brought it to life, only… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. In my dream I stole all your money, kidnapped your parents, and mailed you mannequin parts… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“I unwrapped my love for her like one might unwrap leftovers. Gotta eat up the old stuff first, as a cannibal might… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“Love is bread and water to the soul. My relationships are quite soggy. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“I am in love, and the river is beginning to ice over. I’d better go drown myself before I freeze to death. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“We had an unspoken love for one another. Probably because she’d never talk to me or return my phone calls or texts. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“Love is the point where Yes meets Yesterday, and that's why I put the No in Now. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. In my dream I stole all your money, kidnapped your parents, and mailed you mannequin parts spray-painted red… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“I am the Trolley of Love. Free rides before noon and after 11:58 am! ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“I love that she loves me a 10, on a 5-point scale. Well, I know it’s a 5-point scale, though I asked her on… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“I'm a dog lover and sex addict. Those two things are unrelated. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“I make love like sausage is to bacon as brick is to blanket. Somebody get me some utensils. And some lubrication (not Castrol Motor… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“We made love like two people trying to make love like three people in the trunk of a car. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“Love is a banana. First you peel it, and then you roll on the condom. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“Love isn't two matching unicycles. Love is a bicycle—and mine just got stolen. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
