Absurd Quote by Dark Jar Tin Zoo Download Open image ““I love full on, like 65 mph in a handicapped parking spot. ”” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.3 out of 5 (4 ratings) Copy quoteShare Absurd Car Disabled Funny Handicapped Humor Life Love Nonsense Parking Relationships
“That parallel parking is like making love but more difficult and in public.” — Neil Hilborn Copy Share Image
“Coming down life's highway At ninety mile an hour I want to slide With bad brakes and bald tires Into my final parking space” — Richard L. Ratliff Copy Share Image
“I always buckle up, even if I’m only walking across the parking lot.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If a handicapped woman says she wants to be friends with benefits, I always ask her if that includes parking.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I used to drive a parking lot, and I’d always park it directly under somebody’s car.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I made what must have been about a sixty-point turn and eventually managed to squeeze out of the small and crowded car park at… — Andy McNab Copy Share Image
“My scooter now runs at a top speed of fifteen miles per hour, I think. Cyclists and even some motorcyclists are startled to see… — Hendrik Groen Copy Share Image
“Love is bread and water to the soul. My relationships are quite soggy. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“I am in love, and the river is beginning to ice over. I’d better go drown myself before I freeze to death. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“We had an unspoken love for one another. Probably because she’d never talk to me or return my phone calls or texts. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“Love is the point where Yes meets Yesterday, and that's why I put the No in Now. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. In my dream I stole all your money, kidnapped your parents, and mailed you mannequin parts spray-painted red… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“I am the Trolley of Love. Free rides before noon and after 11:58 am! ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“I love that she loves me a 10, on a 5-point scale. Well, I know it’s a 5-point scale, though I asked her on… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“I'm a dog lover and sex addict. Those two things are unrelated. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“I make love like sausage is to bacon as brick is to blanket. Somebody get me some utensils. And some lubrication (not Castrol Motor… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“We made love like two people trying to make love like three people in the trunk of a car. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“Love is a banana. First you peel it, and then you roll on the condom. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“Love isn't two matching unicycles. Love is a bicycle—and mine just got stolen. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“It seem absurd to me that they don't know, haven't felt any change or tremor, even as my life has been completely turned upside… — Lauren Oliver Copy Share Image
When a person’s tongue is extensively wrong, it is absurd, no less than unscriptural, to say that their heart is right. — J. C. Ryle Copy Share Image
Every sensible man, every honorable man, must hold the Christian sect in horror." "Christianity is the most ridiculous, the most absurd and bloody religion… — Voltaire Copy Share Image
It is human nature to think wisely and to act in an absurd fashion. — Anatole France Copy Share Image
It is a dangerous and fateful presumption, besides the absurd temerity that it implies, to disdain what we do not comprehend. For after you… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I thought to myself: if it’s true that every person has a star in the sky, mine must be distant, dim, and absurd. Perhaps… — Sadegh Hedayat Copy Share Image
If, indeed, a firearm were more dangerous to its possessors than to potential aggressors, would it not make sense for the government to arm… — David Mamet Copy Share Image
“You were torturing a cat," she says. "With a freaking prod." "A prod I built myself in metal shop," he says. "But of course… — George Saunders Copy Share Image
I have never heard enough classical music to be able to enjoy it; & the simple truth is, I detest it. Not mildly, but… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
To deprecate human reason by saying that none of us is or can be omniscient is absurd, for it takes an impossible standard as… — Murray Rothbard Copy Share Image
“Rachel got up and did this happy little shuffle, like she was some cheerful farmer chick who'd just stepped outside to find the hick… — George Saunders Copy Share Image
The absurd duty, too often inculcated, of obeying a parent only on account of his being a parent, shackles the mind, and prepares it… — Mary Wollstonecraft Copy Share Image
