“I make love with a focus and intensity that most people reserve for sleep.” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“I'm a dog lover and sex addict. Those two things are unrelated. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“Love is a banana. First you peel it, and then you roll on the condom. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“We made love like two people trying to make love like three people in the trunk of a car. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“We made love like a half a minute. I brought the thirty seconds, and she provided the excuse as to why she… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“I make love like a snake disguised as an elephant and a donkey. But I mustn’t talk about sexual congress and Congress… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“The only time I drink milk is when I drink coffee. I make love the same way—contributing 2% as I just sort… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“Let me be clear: I don’t want to make love to a mannequin—I want to make love like a mannequin. Oh, if… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“Making love to me is amazing. Wait, I meant: making love, to me, is amazing. The absence of two little commas nearly… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“I make love like farm equipment—not to farm equipment. There is a difference, though my cousin can’t tell it. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“I make love like sausage is to bacon as brick is to blanket. Somebody get me some utensils. And some lubrication (not… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“She gave me money to buy condoms, and instead I bought a book of baby names. That’s life. That’s love. That’s fiscally… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“Love is bread and water to the soul. My relationships are quite soggy. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“I am in love, and the river is beginning to ice over. I’d better go drown myself before I freeze to death. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“We had an unspoken love for one another. Probably because she’d never talk to me or return my phone calls or texts. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“Love is the point where Yes meets Yesterday, and that's why I put the No in Now. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. In my dream I stole all your money, kidnapped your parents, and mailed you mannequin parts spray-painted red… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“I am the Trolley of Love. Free rides before noon and after 11:58 am! ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“I love that she loves me a 10, on a 5-point scale. Well, I know it’s a 5-point scale, though I asked her on… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“I'm a dog lover and sex addict. Those two things are unrelated. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“I make love like sausage is to bacon as brick is to blanket. Somebody get me some utensils. And some lubrication (not Castrol Motor… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“We made love like two people trying to make love like three people in the trunk of a car. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“Love is a banana. First you peel it, and then you roll on the condom. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“Love isn't two matching unicycles. Love is a bicycle—and mine just got stolen. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
