Kids. They're not easy, but there has to be some penalty for having sex. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I just don't think a lot of Republicans like it when single women have sex. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
All marriages are same sex marriages. You get married and every night, it's the same sex. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people, and don't come in clearly enough. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Rick Santorum doesn't like sex. He doesn't like the pill. He really doesn't like condoms. He said if men are going to… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Hot women have to stop putting long paragraphs of text on their bodies. I know you think it's sexy but one thing… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Sex is too easy for women to get, and too hard for men. I mean, honestly, for a man to walk into… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Idiots must stop claiming that atheism is a religion. Religion is defined as the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The House okayed the gasoline tax cut, which will increase the deficit, line the pockets of the oil companies, and hurt the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I think there is a problem, though, with the media gushing over [Obama] too much. I don't think he thinks that he's… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Religions are maintained by people. People who can't get laid, because sex is the first great earthly pleasure. But if you can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The media is all over this Oui interview that Arnold did 25 years ago. Now, he's admitted he smoked pot, had group… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Republicans say that sex is bad, because with them it always is. It is!...I'm sorry, but they're just doughy, asexual, wonky, white… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: Gay marriage won't lead to dog marriage. It is not a slippery slope to rampant inter-species coupling. When women got… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I know a whole generation has been raised on the notion of multiculturalism; that all civilizations are just different. No! Not always.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
When I hear from people that religion doesn't hurt anything, I say really? Well besides wars, the crusades, the inquisitions, 9-11, ethnic… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad`s room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image