I loved 'Celebrity Fit Club,' working out six days a week, running a mile and a half three times a week, and… — Ralphie May Celebrity Copy Share Image
I mean, comics fear sue - you know, lawsuits and stuff like that, just because they don't like to do paperwork. — Ralphie May Fear Copy Share Image
People have been calling me names and setting me back my whole life. And with every fight it's just given me more… — Ralphie May Fight Copy Share Image
I got kids now... It gives you an empathetic feeling into other cultures and stuff. — Ralphie May Children Copy Share Image
Comedy is not about appearance; it's about rockin' a mike. Are they laughing? That's the only test. — Ralphie May Appearance Copy Share Image
My jokes aren't predicated on my weight that much. I talk about it some, but it's definitely not the focus, so I… — Ralphie May Big Copy Share Image
I grew up in a little town in Arkansas called Clarksville and it was a weird existence, you know? I grew up… — Ralphie May Existence Copy Share Image
You talk to - I had a good fortune of getting to spend a lot of time with Uncle Miltie and guys… — Ralphie May Fortune Copy Share Image
The iPhone rules, but it does everything but get a call, you know? I can't tell you how many times my wife… — Ralphie May Cell phone Copy Share Image
I don't go to comedy clubs unless I'm working. And when I do work, I come in, I do my time and… — Ralphie May Come Copy Share Image
If I can make you laugh and learn, I want to be like George Carlin and Richard Pryor and Eddie Murphy and… — Ralphie May Carlin Copy Share Image
The perception of fat people in America is that they're fat, therefore they're dumb, they're lazy, and they must stink. — Ralphie May America Copy Share Image
I live in a dangerous part of Los Angeles. It's called... Los Angeles. — Ralphie May Dangerous Copy Share Image
Vegas needs a really funny, dirty, late-night show, and I'll tell it like it is, I promise you that. And you gotta… — Ralphie May Dirty Copy Share Image
So, are we like best friends now that youve seen whats in my freezer? — Ralphie May Best friend Copy Share Image
The day you don't mess with somebody, that would be exclusive rather than inclusive. I strive to be inclusive. — Ralphie May Day Copy Share Image
When I was up for the film 'Dreamcatcher,' to play the role of an overweight kid, I was told I'm too fat… — Ralphie May Fat Copy Share Image
I'm honest, at the end of the day - I'm obese, but I'm not obtuse. — Ralphie May Day Copy Share Image
My father passed on one important piece of relationship advice before he died. He said son, in a relationship you can either… — Ralphie May Advice Copy Share Image
