I'm dirty, I'm irreverent - but I'm still a very topical comedian. — Ralphie May Comedian Copy Share Image
I got a little bit o black in me. I didnt get that big dick though...I got bad credit, aint that a… — Ralphie May Big dick Copy Share Image
I got kids now... It gives you an empathetic feeling into other cultures and stuff. — Ralphie May Children Copy Share Image
I see the absurdity in things, and I think it's my job to point it out. — Ralphie May Absurdity Copy Share Image
I may have cut it a little close, but youll have heard that already by now! — Ralphie May Heard Copy Share Image
I've got a lot of charisma, plus women are forgiving and they can be charmed. — Ralphie May Charisma Copy Share Image
You can have a poli-science degree but if you don't know people, it doesn't do you a bit of good when you're… — Ralphie May Degree Copy Share Image
As a man in a relationship, you have a choice: You can be right or you can be happy. — Ralphie May Choice Copy Share Image
The day you don't mess with somebody, that would be exclusive rather than inclusive. I strive to be inclusive. — Ralphie May Day Copy Share Image
If you want to be called a dwarf you must be in immediate possession of a battle axe cause otherwise your just… — Ralphie May Attitude Copy Share Image
Jesus was a pothead- long hair, beard, sandals, carpenter- do the math it all adds up. Living with twelve guys with no… — Ralphie May Add Copy Share Image
Last Comic Standing was a great opportunity and it was a great learning experience. Even though I didn't win, I've had more… — Ralphie May Comedy Copy Share Image
My audience expects me to push the limits, to be politically incorrect. I do that because for me, that's the only place… — Ralphie May Audience Copy Share Image
I loved 'Celebrity Fit Club,' working out six days a week, running a mile and a half three times a week, and… — Ralphie May Celebrity Copy Share Image
People have been calling me names and setting me back my whole life. And with every fight it's just given me more… — Ralphie May Calling names Copy Share Image
My audience has accepted me for a long time as, you know, not a fat comedian but a comedian who happens to… — Ralphie May Audience Copy Share Image
I have a lot of pride in the fact that I don't do a lot of fat material. I give people who… — Ralphie May Overweight Copy Share Image
I'm honest, at the end of the day - I'm obese, but I'm not obtuse. — Ralphie May Day Copy Share Image
My name is Ralphie. How many Ralphie's do you know? It's unique. — Ralphie May Do you know Copy Share Image
