People don't know where to place me, and I think that's why my audience is so big. — Ralphie May Big Copy Share Image
I hate comics that try to change the world. That's not my job. That's for the king. I'm the jester. I'm there… — Ralphie May Change the world Copy Share Image
I don't just live in a bubble in Los Angeles. I'm on the road all the time. I say hello to people… — Ralphie May Choices Copy Share Image
When I do jokes that maybe are seen as social commentary, I research them to the nth degree. I probably do more… — Ralphie May Joke Copy Share Image
My neighborhood is so bad. This is how we have to order at the drive-thru if we wanna stay alive... — Ralphie May Stay Alive Copy Share Image
America thinks if you're fat, you're stupid. That's great. I want them to keep thinking that. Let them keep on thinking that… — Ralphie May Expectations Copy Share Image
I don't get much respect from the industry in general, but that's OK. I didn't get into it for respect. I got… — Ralphie May General Copy Share Image
I wouldn't want my comedy show to hurt anybody. I'm not Donald Trump. — Ralphie May Comedy Copy Share Image
Last Comic Standing was a great opportunity and it was a great learning experience. Even though I didn't win, I've had more… — Ralphie May Learning experience Copy Share Image
I'm blue collar, which means white trash with a job. But it also means people who take pride in what they do. — Ralphie May Blue Copy Share Image
In L.A., fat people are mythical. We're like Big Foot. 'Oh, yeah, my cousin knows someone who's fat.' Nobody's fat in L.A. — Ralphie May Big Copy Share Image
I'm too far to the left for some, too far to the right for others. I'm my own brand of comedy. — Ralphie May Comedy Copy Share Image
I got a little bit o black in me. I didnt get that big dick though...I got bad credit, aint that a… — Ralphie May Big dick Copy Share Image
I know I wanted to be a comic when I was nine. I was thirteen the first time I did it. I… — Ralphie May Church Copy Share Image
I've always been Ralphie, ever since I was a kid. My grandfather was Ralph. It suits me better to be Ralphie. — Ralphie May Always Copy Share Image
