I'm blue collar, which means white trash with a job. But it also means people who take pride in what they do. — Ralphie May Blue Copy Share Image
In my entire life I've spent maybe three weeks with my dad under the same roof. — Ralphie May Dad Copy Share Image
I want to raise awareness about evils perpetuated on American citizens by other American citizens. — Ralphie May About Copy Share Image
Comedy is not about appearance; it's about rockin' a mike. Are they laughing? That's the only test. — Ralphie May Appearance Copy Share Image
I live in a very dangerous part of Los Angeles? its called Los Angeles. — Ralphie May Dangerous Copy Share Image
I want more stand-up comics in prime time. It's great for every comedian. — Ralphie May Comedian Copy Share Image
I live in a very dangerous part of Los Angeles.. it's called Los Angeles. — Ralphie May Dangerous Copy Share Image
I've never seen myself as a victim because of my physicality. If I did play that game, I wouldn't be the comedian… — Ralphie May Comedian Copy Share Image
If we were all sitting around as different races and as different religions, if you were a real friend of these people,… — Ralphie May Around Copy Share Image
There's certain stock lines that, you know, like heckler lines, you know, like, where did you learn to whisper, a helicopter, you… — Ralphie May Investing Copy Share Image
I've been shortchanged and overlooked my whole life. And if you boo-hoo about everything, that's all you're going to do your whole… — Ralphie May Been Copy Share Image
I grew up in a little town in Arkansas called Clarksville and it was a weird existence, you know? I grew up… — Ralphie May Existence Copy Share Image
My father passed on one important piece of relationship advice before he died. He said son, in a relationship you can either… — Ralphie May Advice Copy Share Image
My father passed on one important piece of relationship advice before he died. He said son, in a relationship you can either… — Ralphie May Advice Copy Share Image
When I was up for the film 'Dreamcatcher,' to play the role of an overweight kid, I was told I'm too fat… — Ralphie May Fat Copy Share Image
If I can make you laugh and learn, I want to be like George Carlin and Richard Pryor and Eddie Murphy and… — Ralphie May Carlin Copy Share Image
The comedians I always loved and respected the most were always filthy degenerates. — Ralphie May Always Copy Share Image
I never wanted to be known as a fat comic, just a comic who happens to be fat. — Ralphie May Comic Copy Share Image
I live in a dangerous part of Los Angeles. It's called... Los Angeles. — Ralphie May Dangerous Copy Share Image
I'm too far to the left for some, too far to the right for others. I'm my own brand of comedy. — Ralphie May Comedy Copy Share Image
I wouldn't want my comedy show to hurt anybody. I'm not Donald Trump. — Ralphie May Comedy Copy Share Image
I've always been Ralphie, ever since I was a kid. My grandfather was Ralph. It suits me better to be Ralphie. — Ralphie May Always Copy Share Image
The perception of fat people in America is that they're fat, therefore they're dumb, they're lazy, and they must stink. — Ralphie May America Copy Share Image
As a man seeing someone, have a decision: You can be correct or you can be glad. — Ralphie May Decision Copy Share Image
I mean, comics fear sue - you know, lawsuits and stuff like that, just because they don't like to do paperwork. — Ralphie May Comic Copy Share Image
Fat people are the only people you can still make fun of in this country. — Ralphie May Country Copy Share Image
The overwhelming majority of my material has very little to do with my weight. It's certainly not the crux of my material. — Ralphie May Little Copy Share Image
The people I make fun of most are white people. They're the dumbest ones. They really are. — Ralphie May Dumbest Copy Share Image
My neighborhood is so bad. This is how we have to order at the drive-thru if we wanna stay alive... — Ralphie May Neighborhood Copy Share Image
So, are we like best friends now that youve seen whats in my freezer? — Ralphie May Best friend Copy Share Image
I hate comics that try to change the world. That's not my job. That's for the king. I'm the jester. I'm there… — Ralphie May Change the world Copy Share Image
People don't know where to place me, and I think that's why my audience is so big. — Ralphie May Audience Copy Share Image
I'm not PC all the time in my phrasing, because that meets a wall; people won't hear it. — Ralphie May Because Copy Share Image
When I get emotional about something, that's usually when funny comes. — Ralphie May About Copy Share Image
I'm a dirty, filthy animal and I'm a dirty comedian, but I got a lot of charisma and charm. — Ralphie May Animal Copy Share Image
I'm so Southern that I'm related to myself. I'm actually my own cousin. — Ralphie May Actually Copy Share Image
Jesus was a pothead Long hair, beard, sandals, carpenter. Do the math, it all adds up. Living with 12 guys with no… — Ralphie May Jesus Copy Share Image
Wanna give a shout-out to the Fry Guy, got much love fo the Fry Guy? let me get a cold drank, need… — Ralphie May Love Copy Share Image
