Comedy Quote by Ralphie May

I loved 'Celebrity Fit Club,' working out six days a week, running a mile and a half three times a week, and doing 1,000…

— Ralphie May

I'm not your usual cup of tea.

— Ralphie May

Man, I havent liked you since you froze Han Solo.

— Ralphie May

Let me get a Jumbo Jizzack with cheese like a motha fucka!

— Ralphie May

I keep my nose clean. I let the drama go on with somebody else.

— Ralphie May

I mean, comics fear sue - you know, lawsuits and stuff like that, just because they don't like to do paperwork.

— Ralphie May

People have been calling me names and setting me back my whole life. And with every fight it's just given me more fuel to…

— Ralphie May

I got kids now... It gives you an empathetic feeling into other cultures and stuff.

— Ralphie May

Comedy is not about appearance; it's about rockin' a mike. Are they laughing? That's the only test.

— Ralphie May

My jokes aren't predicated on my weight that much. I talk about it some, but it's definitely not the focus, so I don't feel…

— Ralphie May

I grew up in a little town in Arkansas called Clarksville and it was a weird existence, you know? I grew up white trash;…

— Ralphie May

You talk to - I had a good fortune of getting to spend a lot of time with Uncle Miltie and guys like Buddy…

— Ralphie May