Funny Quote by Steven Wright

Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, "Do…

— Steven Wright

While I was gone, somebody rearranged on the furniture in my bedroom. They put it in exactly the same place it was. When I…

— Steven Wright

I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates".

— Steven Wright

I remember, this one time, one of my best friends was living with us for a little while, this place we were renovating. We…

— Jonathan Scott

The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're…

— Jeff Foxworthy

“Am I still a thief if I put it all back and no one ever knows?”

— George R.R. Martin

I've twice accidentally stolen something, and both times I went back and paid for them when I realized I had done it.

— Katie Featherston

What’s the worst thing I've stolen? Probably little pieces of other people’s lives. Where I’ve either wasted their time or hurt them in some…

— Chester Bennington

I don't think I've ever stolen anything.

— Ira Glass

Somebody steals from me, I'm gonna say you stole. Not talk to him for spitting on the sidewalk. Understand?

— Robert De Niro

The only thing I've ever stolen are hours out of people's lives with meandering conversations.

— Baron Vaughn

I don't like to think of it as 'stolen'. They have no proof that I didn't plan on giving it back." "You're kidding, right?"…

— Marissa Meyer