Writing a novel is one of those modern rites of passage, I think, that lead us from an innocent world of contentment,… — J. G. Ballard Copy Share Image
“Personally, I prefer Stevie Wonder," confessed the Chink, "but what the hell. Those cowgirls are always bitching because the only radio station… — Tom Robbins Copy Share Image
“There was no one to really argue with, but Mama managed it expertly every chance she had. She could argue with the… — Markus Zusak Copy Share Image
“We never know what will happen next, what we will see, and what important person will come into our life, or what… — Mark Sullivan Copy Share Image
I was in musical comedy. And I did very well, but the memorization killed me. I'm not good at memorizing, and it… — Patti Smith Copy Share Image
“Someone very clever—certainly someone much cleverer than whoever had trained that imp—must have made the clock for the Partrician’s waiting room. It… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“A travesty of epic proportions,” Tock agreed. “How much you wanna bet they couldn’t even turn the computer on?” — T.J. Klune Copy Share Image
“I do, too, understand. Rosalind wants to find creepy ladies for Daddy so we don't have to worry about stepmothers.” — Jeanne Birdsall Copy Share Image
“Enjoy every ounce of your life, get high and be sincere to anybody that comes around you.” — Salman Aditya Copy Share Image
“The discussion was escalating into an argument when the Demeter head counselor offered one last suggestion. "What about this?" He held out… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
It's not hard to be a woman in comedy as long as you're also a writer. You have to create your opportunity. — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
“Suddenly, he wanted some credit for it. He wanted someone to thank him for not crapping on the institution of love. He… — Amity Gaige Copy Share Image
“All real estate agents should be put on a decommissioned naval frigate which is then towed out into the deepest part of… — Mil Millington Copy Share Image
“Blankets make great traps for the clinically insane, but a straightjacket might work better.” — Nicole McKay Copy Share Image
“Every working mother has the things she dreads, things that keep her up in the night – pink eye, an ear infection,… — Emily Roberson Copy Share Image
“I really loathe [the bumper sticker] 'Proud Parent of a Terrific Kid!' Why not a bumper sticker for the unlucky parents, something… — Celia Rivenbark Copy Share Image
“I guess all my afternoon beers and burgers were catching up with me, which made me want to scream THEN WHY NOT… — Jonas Eriksson Copy Share Image
“Kenji snorts.“That’s because you’re not fragile,” Kenji says. “If anything, everyone needs to protect themselves from you. You’re like a freaking beast,”… — Tahereh Mafi Copy Share Image
You have to discover when you're inadequate to be funny and you don't know you're inadequate when you're a kid. — Larry David Copy Share Image
Why do we call it a hot water-heater when there's no need to heat hot water? — Gallagher Copy Share Image
“What a pair they were - a Mistborn who felt guilty wasting coins to jump and a nobleman who thought balls were… — Brandon Sanderson Copy Share Image
Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. — Max Irons Copy Share Image
I think that you can make a drama and have it be intensely funny, and vice versa. — Jason Gann Copy Share Image
“Sound, smells, and sensations woosh around me. I move my lips against hers, and feel her respond in turn. Katie’s hands slide… — Jessica Booth Copy Share Image
There's no such thing as legacies. At least, there is a legacy, but I'll never see it. — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
My horse's jockey was hitting the horse. The horse turns around and says "Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind… — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
You never really know someone until you play UNO with them, and the asshole hits you with a 'Draw 4.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper. He said, "I want you to… — Tim Vine Copy Share Image
I'm a fun-loving guy. We are basically from Amritsar and ours is a chilled-out family. I think I have got my humour… — Kapil Sharma Copy Share Image
“I can still feel my legs, thanks for asking. My back’s not even hurt that badly. Only as though I was just… — Jayde Scott Copy Share Image