Funny Quote by Tim Vine

“The policeman looked him up and down and Jack raised an eyebrow. ‘Want my phone number, constable?”

— Trevor Baxendale

“When the officer approached the window, he said ‘Papers’ and before he could finish, I shouted, ‘Scissors! I win,’ and drove off.”

— Kyle Adams

“One of the police found a garden chair that I could stand on and they eyed me suspiciously as I tried to slide through…

— Tom Reynolds

“Mr Police Officer, I will only be identifying myself to you if I am legally required to do so.”

— Steven Magee

“The policeman comes : in his hand the weapon that has knocked down more malefactors than all the batons the bull's-eye. He strikes with…

— J.M. Barrie

The other night I came home late, and tried to unlock my house with my car keys. I started the house up. So, I…

— Steven Wright

When he realized who he'd pulled over, the policeman shook his head in disbelief. He told me of all people I should know better.…

— Dennis Franz

When I was a kid, a policeman was someone you looked up to and respected.

— Alan Sugar

A cop pulled me over and said, 'Papers...' So I said, 'Scissors, I win!' and drove off like a boss!

— Anonymous

“In my script-like scrawl, I wrote: If you find my body, ask Hazzard. I leaned back and surveyed my words. Then I drew a…

— Megan Erickson

A policeman stopped me and said: Would you please blow into this bag, sir? I said: What for, officer? He said: My chips are…

— Tommy Cooper

“The officer looked at her. “So, to recap, you carried a package of, you don’t know what, for a girl you’ve never seen before…

— Alyssa Hall