Driving Quote by Anonymous

“When the officer approached the window, he said ‘Papers’ and before he could finish, I shouted, ‘Scissors! I win,’ and drove off.”

— Kyle Adams

COP: sir, have you been drinking? MAN: no! COP: papers.. MAN: Scissors, I WIN!

— Ana

Cop pulls man over for suspicion of drunk driving. Cop: Sir have you been drinking? Man: No. Cop: Papers. Man: Scissors, I win!

— Anonymous

If a cop pulls me over and he says papers and I say scissors does that mean I have won

— Me

The other night I came home late, and tried to unlock my house with my car keys. I started the house up. So, I…

— Steven Wright

One day, when I came home from work, I accidentally put my car key in the door of my apartment building. I turned it,…

— Steven Wright

When he realized who he'd pulled over, the policeman shook his head in disbelief. He told me of all people I should know better.…

— Dennis Franz

“One of the police found a garden chair that I could stand on and they eyed me suspiciously as I tried to slide through…

— Tom Reynolds

So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he said 'You've been promoted.' And I…

— Tim Vine

Got stopped by a lady cop in my automobile. She said get out and spread your legs, and then she tried to cop a…

— Red Hot Chili Peppers

One night I was standing on Third Avenue playing my guitar, when this big Irish policeman came strolling by, and stopped to listen to…

— Frank Stallone

The arresting officer, who I had literally known, all my life. You know what I mean? This guy lived four doors down the street…

— Ron White