Sarah Millican

I only started driving lessons because of comedy - before that, there's be no need. There was a bus from where I…

— Sarah Millican

I try to cover three food groups at breakfast. I see that as a licence to eat rubbish for the rest of…

— Sarah Millican

People always say that you shouldn't read reviews at all, or if you do then believe both the good and the bad…

— Sarah Millican

My sister tells people that we're all funny in our family, but I'm the only one who gets paid for it.

— Sarah Millican

The way it works in my family is as follows: they first loosen their grip at 16 when you are encouraged to…

— Sarah Millican

You can't nap with just anyone. It's weird. I can honestly say I've only napped with six people.

— Sarah Millican

It's not enough for something to be popular; it has to be good.

— Sarah Millican

I'm always a bit late, but I don't mind that, because it means that whoever I'm meeting is already there.

— Sarah Millican

I think life is full of moments. And it's important to remember those moments. Take a mental snapshot if you can. For…

— Sarah Millican

I don't have a telly in my bedroom. I think the bedroom should be saved for more appropriate things, like sleeping, eating…

— Sarah Millican

I am a comedian. You may or may not find me funny, but the fact remains, that I am a comedian.

— Sarah Millican

One thing Aussie telly does well is slightly different versions of programmes we've made. The trailers for 'Celebrity Splash' prove they don't…

— Sarah Millican

We all need a big cushiony telly show to fall back on. Like the pair of slippers after you unexpectedly went Christmas…

— Sarah Millican

A place I've been a fair few times is the Lake District. It has the edge on Paris in that it's ace.…

— Sarah Millican

“I tried to think of what a tabloid newspaper might call my book and came up with ‘Cakey Cakey Fat Cunt’.”

— Sarah Millican

I might look like somebody who lives next door but I've a dark, twisted sense of humour.

— Sarah Millican

A lot of people think that being skinny is the happy ending, and it's not. Being happy is the happy ending.

— Sarah Millican

All of my stuff is based on personal stories to back up my arguments. It's not a lecture, it's still comedy. I…

— Sarah Millican

Our little cat comes for a snuggle, then the big cat mews for a stroke and moves a few paces, then another…

— Sarah Millican

My husband and I don't have children. We can't have children because we hate them.

— Sarah Millican

As I ran out of grandparents at the age of 16, the only time I ever see old folk is when I'm…

— Sarah Millican

I like to think that I listen to Classic FM while domestic goddessing and, truth be told, I often do, but you…

— Sarah Millican

There are few things I like more than to see old people twinkling. A shopping centre I frequent has Tea Dance Tuesdays…

— Sarah Millican

To say I've never seen 'The Jeremy Kyle Show' would be a lie. I once woke up too early in a hotel…

— Sarah Millican

My humour is a mix of my parents'. I get the chatty, anecdotal stuff from my dad and the filth from my…

— Sarah Millican