“Most killer whales are just four tons of doofus dressed up like a police car.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“The two had been together since they were little girls, and so loved and hated each other like sisters.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“By Aladdin's lamplit scrotum, man! Everything is a story. What is there but stories? Stories are the only truth.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“He tapped into the Zen of ignorance, the enlightenment of absurdity.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“You know, he doesn't have to be the only one bopped in the noggin when noggin-boppin' time rolls around.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“I'm feeling full of tiny princes, bustling to get out into the world and start plotting against one another.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“You want broccoli?" asked Mrs. Korjev. "Is there orange broccoli?" Sophie asked. "Green broccoli is good for you, make you strong, like… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“That was supposed to be the whole purpose of the Internet, you know. To share scientific information." "Not a Viagra- and porn-delivery… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Jody screamed at him: a high, explosive, unintelligible expulsion of pure inhuman frustration--a Hendrix high note sampled and sung by a billion… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Is she special? (asks the gay waiter)" I thinks she's going to break my heart" On arrival of the girl" The flannel… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“You're the one with almost an MBA," Barry, the short balding one, said to Lash. "You should know what to do." "They… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry, you can't have a baby brother, because that would mean that Daddy had sex, and that's never going… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“This is a bawdy tale. Herein you will find gratuitous shagging, murder, spanking, maiming, treason, and heretofore unexplored heights of vulgarity and… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Lucien, women are wondrous, mysterious, and magical creatures, who should be treated not only with respect but with reverence, perhaps even awe.… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“My name," said Mr. Fresh. "Pardon?" Charlie stopped tying himself up. "I dress in mint green because of my first name. It's… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Religion was supposed to be a matter of faith. Gods were not supposed to jump on your desk and snarl at you.… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“These dogs are not fighting." "Yes they are. Like the paintings we saw in the Louvre," said Lucien. "Gecko-Roman wrestling Father called… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“From the slope of Haleakala, the Old Broad watched the activity in the channel with a two-hundred-power celestial telescope and a pair… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“At the pet store he picked out two painted turtles, each about as big around as a mayonnaise-jar lid. He bought them… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
The fact that 'A Dirty Job' has comedy and supernatural horror in it, that both are woven in and out of it… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Let me say right here, if I haven't made it clear, that I have seen as many pale, naked old-man parts in… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“One Monday, just for sport, Charlie grabbed an eggplant that a spectacularly wizened granny was going for, but instead of twisting it… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“The Holy Mother has many faces, but you know it's her from her blue cloak. She is said to be the spirit… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Everyone thinks that it was the big strong caveman who got the girl, and for the most part, that may have been… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“In another Christmas story, Dale Pearson, evil developer, self-absorbed woman hater, and seemingly unredeemable curmudgeon, might be visited in the night by… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Joshua's ministry was three years of preaching, sometimes three times a day, and although there were some high and low points, I… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Nate had been born and raised in British Columbia, and Canadians hate, above all things, to offend. It was part of the… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“It’s sarcasm, Josh.” “Sarcasm?” “It’s from the Greek, sarkasmos. To bite the lips. It means that you aren’t really saying what you… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“You're right [Joshua], I have taught you nothing. I could teach you nothing. Everything that you needed to know was already there.… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“A gentleman can't even discuss fucking philosophy without you puritanical twats casting judgmental glances at his tackle d'amore.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Look, you mad tart, I have a covenant with God, which is: I don't mention that he has stocked the world full… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“I've tried to get the angel to watch MTV so I can learn the vocabulary of your music, but even with the… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Joshua and I tried to engage Joy in conversation several times during the journey to Kabul, but she was cranky and abrupt… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
Why write a song when no one can play the notes or understand the lyrics? — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“I have followed my penis into hell and returned with the story.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Shoes off in the whale! And don't try and make a break for the anus.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Love them all," said Renoir. "That is the secret, young man. Love them all." The painter let go of his arm and shrugged. "Then,… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“I tried cutting myself to express my heartbreak over Tommy (Lord Flood) rejecting me, but OMFG it hurts like flaming fuck.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
Canada is a myth people made up to entertain children, like the Tooth Fairy. There’s no such place. — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“I hope you are not here to ask me to do my bawdy business- the monkey has a nosebleed and the circus, sir, is… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“The night was crisp and the stars shone with a cold blue light like loneliness or infinity.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Abby Von Normal - And I'm like, "Don't change the subject, Kung Pao, what I want to know is if you're ready to spend… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“You can't just go around blurting out the truth like a prophet with Tourette's syndrome.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“…turning your ankle hurts like hell, even if you're a superhero.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
![“You're right [Joshua], I have taught you nothing. I could teach you nothing. Everything that you needed to know was already there. You simply needed the word for it. Some need Kali and Shiva to destroy the world so they may see past the illusion to divinity in them, others need Krishna to drive…” quote by Christopher Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/690/christopher-moore-353_buddhism_you-re-right-joshua-i-have-taught-you-no_314308.jpg)
