“In another Christmas story, Dale Pearson, evil developer, self-absorbed woman hater, and seemingly unredeemable curmudgeon, might be visited in the night by… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“You're right [Joshua], I have taught you nothing. I could teach you nothing. Everything that you needed to know was already there.… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Shoes off in the whale! And don't try and make a break for the anus.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Let me say right here, if I haven't made it clear, that I have seen as many pale, naked old-man parts in… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“I'm feeling full of tiny princes, bustling to get out into the world and start plotting against one another.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Everyone thinks that it was the big strong caveman who got the girl, and for the most part, that may have been… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Jody screamed at him: a high, explosive, unintelligible expulsion of pure inhuman frustration--a Hendrix high note sampled and sung by a billion… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“These dogs are not fighting." "Yes they are. Like the paintings we saw in the Louvre," said Lucien. "Gecko-Roman wrestling Father called… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“You're the one with almost an MBA," Barry, the short balding one, said to Lash. "You should know what to do." "They… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Look, you mad tart, I have a covenant with God, which is: I don't mention that he has stocked the world full… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“A gentleman can't even discuss fucking philosophy without you puritanical twats casting judgmental glances at his tackle d'amore.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry, you can't have a baby brother, because that would mean that Daddy had sex, and that's never going… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“My name," said Mr. Fresh. "Pardon?" Charlie stopped tying himself up. "I dress in mint green because of my first name. It's… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“It’s sarcasm, Josh.” “Sarcasm?” “It’s from the Greek, sarkasmos. To bite the lips. It means that you aren’t really saying what you… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“That was supposed to be the whole purpose of the Internet, you know. To share scientific information." "Not a Viagra- and porn-delivery… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“By Aladdin's lamplit scrotum, man! Everything is a story. What is there but stories? Stories are the only truth.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“The two had been together since they were little girls, and so loved and hated each other like sisters.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
The fact that 'A Dirty Job' has comedy and supernatural horror in it, that both are woven in and out of it… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Most killer whales are just four tons of doofus dressed up like a police car.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Religion was supposed to be a matter of faith. Gods were not supposed to jump on your desk and snarl at you.… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“You want broccoli?" asked Mrs. Korjev. "Is there orange broccoli?" Sophie asked. "Green broccoli is good for you, make you strong, like… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Joshua and I tried to engage Joy in conversation several times during the journey to Kabul, but she was cranky and abrupt… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Love them all," said Renoir. "That is the secret, young man. Love them all." The painter let go of his arm and shrugged. "Then,… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“I tried cutting myself to express my heartbreak over Tommy (Lord Flood) rejecting me, but OMFG it hurts like flaming fuck.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
Canada is a myth people made up to entertain children, like the Tooth Fairy. There’s no such place. — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“I hope you are not here to ask me to do my bawdy business- the monkey has a nosebleed and the circus, sir, is… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“The night was crisp and the stars shone with a cold blue light like loneliness or infinity.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Abby Von Normal - And I'm like, "Don't change the subject, Kung Pao, what I want to know is if you're ready to spend… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“You can't just go around blurting out the truth like a prophet with Tourette's syndrome.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“…turning your ankle hurts like hell, even if you're a superhero.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
