Mustache Quote by Jarod Kintz

“I have a mustache like a squirrel and you just ran over my face.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I was hot so I gave myself a haircut. I then saw a bald man sweating, so I offered to tweeze his eyebrows. He…

— Jarod Kintz

“I don’t just have one mustache, I have two. You can hardly notice them, though, because I wear them in place of my eyebrows,…

— Jarod Kintz

“Right now I have a milk mustache. I grew it on a cattle ranch, and then glued it to my face.”

— Jarod Kintz

“We can’t be lovers because we both have mustaches. But since you’re a lady, and I’m a gentleman, I’ll shave mine off.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I didn’t shave my mustache off. Instead what I did was taped Elton John’s asshole to my top lip and then all of the…

— Jarod Kintz

“I loved his goatee even more than his mustache. It was so soft and white. I wanted to rub my face in it. I…

— Jerry Spinelli

“What can I say?" Poe muttered. "Chicks dig the mustache.”

— Kelly Creagh

“When I couldn’t grow a full beard I took it as a sign from God to grow a mustache instead.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I grew a mustache, and I grew it in my garden. My mustache is organic, and will taste tasty on your mouth.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I know my name's Squirrelpaw, but I never thought I'd wish that I WAS a squirrel!”

— Erin Hunter

“The choices that women make sometimes seems provoking and at the same time amusing. I once met a lady who said she liked my…

— Michael Bassey Johnson