Quote by Jarod Kintz Download Open image ““I have a mustache like a squirrel and you just ran over my face.”” — Jarod Kintz ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 2.5 out of 5 (7 ratings) Copy quoteShare
“I didn’t have time to grow out a mustache, so I wore a squirrel to the party. Women looked at me like they knew… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I don’t just have one mustache, I have two. You can hardly notice them, though, because I wear them in place of my eyebrows,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Right now I have a milk mustache. I grew it on a cattle ranch, and then glued it to my face.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“He sneers so regularly that I suspect he shaves his mustache only to spare his nose the whisker burn.” — Meredith Duran Copy Share Image
“Mustaches are so cool that I not only have one—I have two. I wear both of mine above my eyes.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I loved his goatee even more than his mustache. It was so soft and white. I wanted to rub my face in it. I… — Jerry Spinelli Copy Share Image
“When I couldn’t grow a full beard I took it as a sign from God to grow a mustache instead.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I have half a mustache. It was a gift from my father, who bought one with a Buy One Mustache, Get One Half Off… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I was hot so I gave myself a haircut. I then saw a bald man sweating, so I offered to tweeze his eyebrows. He… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I didn’t shave my mustache off. Instead what I did was taped Elton John’s asshole to my top lip and then all of the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
