“My neck size is about the size of both of my girlfriend’s clenched hands.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If it’s not already written, I want to write a book called, “The Art of Raw.” But instead of using my real… — Jarod Kintz Art Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to swallow up the nightmares you used to have as a kid. Whatever happened to those bad… — Jarod Kintz Bad dream Copy Share Image
“We’re not so different, you and I. Sure, we may have different religious beliefs, political outlooks, sexual orientations, economic viewpoints, and artistic/literary/culinary… — Jarod Kintz Harvard university Copy Share Image
“My fingers itch, and the more I scratch the more it tickles. Tickle, itch, tickle, itch, this whole experience reminds me of… — Jarod Kintz Love Copy Share Image
“Zebras are the lions of the animal world. I mean they would be, if lions weren’t already the lions of the animal… — Jarod Kintz International Man Of Mystery Copy Share Image
“If a policy isn’t working, don’t change the policy—change its name. That should be taught in Politics 101.” — Jarod Kintz Politics Copy Share Image
“I’m so lonely, I just need somebody to call me—even if it’s a wrong number. I’m also hungry, so maybe that caller… — Jarod Kintz Wrong number Copy Share Image
“You need skills to be good at homesteading. You need farming, carpentry, and above all, you need to be able to impersonate… — Jarod Kintz Absurd Copy Share Image
“My wife and I will probably have lots of kids. Just not with each other.” — Jarod Kintz Marriage Copy Share Image
“What is your SPM (sperm per meal) content? A politician’s is very high.” — Jarod Kintz Happiness Copy Share Image
“How do two retards eat a turd sandwich? Well, not by first wiping their ass with wheat bread like I showed them.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to find the Brick of Truth. Many lies will be layered on the Brick of Truth to… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I dove in feet first. I like to dive in feet before I dive in hands, because I don’t like feeling like… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I told the tree it was going nowhere in life. It was hurtful, but true. Now, maybe in death it will go… — Jarod Kintz Death Copy Share Image
“On March 5th, I'm having my birthday celebration. The party starts at midnight, and ends at 12:01 AM. Don't be late!” — Jarod Kintz Birthday Copy Share Image
“People say the sun is too bright. I say the sun is too silent. And that’s saying something, considering I’m a Helen… — Jarod Kintz Helen Keller Copy Share Image
“Instead of a motorcycle, why not ride a custom-engineered unicorn? The unicorn could be genetically grown like corn.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Gin is a confusing drink. It’s the only liquid that’s both wet and dry.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to represent the Rectangle of Desire. In nine out of ten cases, it was more effective than… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Brick” could be the name of a restaurant. But so could “Blah,” “Gruel,” and “A Taste of the Gulag.” ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
