Quote by Jarod Kintz Download Open image ““Handcuffs barely wrap around the girth of my penis. I should run for Congress.”” — Jarod Kintz ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.4 out of 5 (4 ratings) Copy quoteShare
“Would it make you more comfortable if I wore a condom while I shook your hand? I could wear it on my penis, or… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I bowl like I masturbate: with two hands. I should run for Congress.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I make love like a snake disguised as an elephant and a donkey. But I mustn’t talk about sexual congress and Congress simultaneously. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“Men would have been badly in trouble if their hands didn’t fit their dick.” — M.F. Moonzajer Copy Share Image
“The handcuffs are still on me, and they're uncomfortable, to say the least. I have no idea how people willingly use these things during… — Caprice Crane Copy Share Image
“I rub the indents in my wrists where the handcuffs squeezed and see the gun,” — Jesmyn Ward Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
