Quote by Jarod Kintz

“Handcuffs barely wrap around the girth of my penis. I should run for Congress.”

— Jarod Kintz

“How to grow up slowly and secretly, not all at once like lunch in a condom, that is the essence of politics. But I…

— Jarod Kintz

“I wore rubber gloves. Why? Because I ran out of condoms.
”

— Jarod Kintz

“It was a politician’s gesture—a vulgar public gesture by a man who in private, among his own kind, would take wincing pains never to…

— Kurt Vonnegut

“My hand acts as a blanket for my genitals.
”

— Jarod Kintz

“Take it all off. I don't intend to fuck somebody in his underwear. And you have to use a condom. I know where I've…

— Stieg Larsson

“Don’t point your accusatory finger at me, unless you want me to wrap my hand around it, grip it tight, and jerk it off.…

— Jarod Kintz

“I’m a handyman. I work with my hand. I masturbate for a living. That’s right, I’m in politics.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Let my hand be a blanket for my penis.
”

— Jarod Kintz

“Just do me a solid and keep condoms in your purse. Just in case.” “That doesn’t help me keep my legs closed around the…

— Kristen Proby

“In politics, if you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman”

— Margaret Thatcher

“I have so much love that it could stretch around the world’s largest dick. But so what? Bernanke’s belt does that every day.”

— Jarod Kintz