Janet Evanovich

“Dancing hotdogs don't say shit.”

— Janet Evanovich

“You’re his what?” “Amanuensis.”

— Janet Evanovich

Stop the planet. I want to get off.

— Janet Evanovich

“THREE TO GET DEADLY”

— Janet Evanovich

“Powder blue is a sissy color.”

— Janet Evanovich

“It wasn't my fault.”

— Janet Evanovich

Nice tackle, babe." Ranger

— Janet Evanovich

“Stephanie Plum, psycho bait.”

— Janet Evanovich

“Women grow up wary, and men grow up thinking they’re immortal.”

— Janet Evanovich

“I'll take a donut over a man any day of the week.”

— Janet Evanovich

I was going to go to church, but I decided to get doughnuts instead.

— Janet Evanovich

I hate mornings. They start so early.

— Janet Evanovich

“My skill level is so high I do things I don’t even try to do.”

— Janet Evanovich

I shot that sucker right in the gumpy." Grandma Mazur

— Janet Evanovich

“Ranger leaned closer and lowered his voice.”

— Janet Evanovich

“It's not a good idea to mess with a woman who has a pimple”

— Janet Evanovich

If I let her in I'm doomed. It's like inviting a vampire into your house. Once you've invite them in, that's it,…

— Janet Evanovich

Looks like you're on a roll. This is the second car you've toasted this week." Carl Costanza - Hot Six

— Janet Evanovich

“It's a penis,' Grandma said. 'Stephanie got it in the mail. It's a pretty good one too.”

— Janet Evanovich

I disconnected and made a mental note not to call Tank unless I was bleeding profusely, and he was the only other…

— Janet Evanovich

“A wise man, recognizing that the world is an illusion, does not act as if it is real, and so he escapes…

— Janet Evanovich

I was watching television and I saw how you stick your fingers in a person's eyes to slow them down." Grandma Mazur

— Janet Evanovich

Maybe your pregnant. Oops, hold on, you're not pregnant, on account of you're not gettin any.

— Janet Evanovich

It was dark and raining, with bad visibility, but this was Jersey, and we don't slow down for anything.

— Janet Evanovich

There’s always tomorrow.” “Exactly,” she said, finishing off her first doughnut, selecting a second. Maybe she wouldn’t starve to death, she decided.…

— Janet Evanovich

I'd spent a night with Ranger a while ago, and I knew what happened when he was encouraged. Ranger knew how to…

— Janet Evanovich

“I've noticed you only speak ghetto half of the time." - Stephanie "I'm multi-lingual," Rancher said. I followed him to the door,…

— Janet Evanovich

“I thought you were trying to lose weight.” “Yeah, but I don’t want to waste away to nothing. And anyway, everyone knows…

— Janet Evanovich

I wasn’t a fabulous cook. I didn’t have a boyfriend, much less a husband. And I wasn’t a big financial success. I…

— Janet Evanovich

“Connie handed me the check and plucked at a clump of mascara hanging at the end of her left eyelash. “I’m telling…

— Janet Evanovich

You could be the Mega Mage of wizards. You could rule Minionfire. Do you really think so?' Yeah, but you'd have to…

— Janet Evanovich

I got out of the tub and had to squelch a scream when I saw my reflection in the vanity mirror. My…

— Janet Evanovich

You know what this is?" Lula said. "This here's plane rage." Plane rage isn't allowed. It got taken off the allowed activities…

— Janet Evanovich

It was Lorraine in her nightie and Mo in his cap. They'd just settled their brains for a long winter's nap in…

— Janet Evanovich

Who's the best person you know. Of all the people you know personally, is there anyone who has a sense of right…

— Janet Evanovich

Sorry about Bender," Lula said, letting the Trans Am idle at the curb. "Maybe we could tell Vinnie he died. We could…

— Janet Evanovich

“I plunked down on the couch beside him. "I don't have any accomplishments of any kind. I'm stupid and boring. I don't…

— Janet Evanovich

“Grandma has a .45 long barrel that she keeps hidden from my mother. She got it from her friend Elsie, who picked…

— Janet Evanovich

“My mother came into the kitchen. “Whose car is that parked in front of our house?” “That’s Stephanie’s new car,” Grandma said.…

— Janet Evanovich

“Oh boy,” Lula said when she saw me. “Think we got a good story walking in the door, here. What’s with the…

— Janet Evanovich