“I heard about them Rangers on TV,” Grandma said. “I heard they get dogs pregnant.” -Grandma Mazur” — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
You need teeth like mine!" Grandma said. "You can just mail 'em to the dentist! — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“It's a penis,' Grandma said. 'Stephanie got it in the mail. It's a pretty good one too.” — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
Maybe it was me," Grandma said."Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart? — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“Lula leaned forward so she could whisper. “You talking about size? Was your man’s part that big?” “Heck no,” Grandma said. “His… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“It was mesmerizing,” Grandma said. “It was like staring into the eye of a cobra. I don’t care if I do anything… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
The dog ran into the kitchen, stuck his nose in Grandma's crotch, and snuffled. Dang," Grandma said. "Guess my new perfume really… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
I always wanted to eat with a Negro,” Grandma said. Yeah, well I always wanted to eat with a boney- assed old… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
You gonna take the case?" It's not a case. It's a missing person. Sort of." You're gonna have a devil of a… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
Aren't you something," Grandma said. "I never saw a midget up close." "Little person," Briggs said. "And I never saw anyone as… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
I’m going back to bed,” Grandma said when Mooner and Dougie left. “This doesn’t look too interesting. I liked it better the… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“Of course it's your fault," Grandma said. "You must be doing something wrong, if you know what I mean. Maybe you need… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“Sally put his gun back in his pants. "Guess I flunked the estrogen test." We all stared at his crotch, and Grandma… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“walked him to the door. “Is there anything else you want me to do? Check your mail? Water your plants?” “My mail… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“And Grandma spooned in some beans. “We need one of them psychics,” Grandma said. “I saw on television where you can call… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“Morelli was wearing a blazer over a black knit shirt, He took a seat, and his jacket swung wide, exposing the gun… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“My mother came into the kitchen. “Whose car is that parked in front of our house?” “That’s Stephanie’s new car,” Grandma said.… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“Babe!” Ranger shouted from the bathroom. “Come get your grandmother.” Ranger was standing in the glass-enclosed shower with the door open, looking… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“The kid pulled a Buck knife out of his pants pocket. "How about giving me your purse, bitch?" Sally hiked up his… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“His pager beeped, and he looked at the readout. “I have to get back to Deal. Do you have any secret weapons in your… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
You gonna take the case?" It's not a case. It's a missing person. Sort of." You're gonna have a devil of a time finding… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
Are we fighting?" I asked Morelli. "No. Were discussing." "Are you sure?" "Am I yelling?" Morelli asked. "Is my face purple? Are the cords… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“changed expression. Wariness, maybe. I felt a body move so close it was skimming my own, and a warm hand protectively settled at the… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble. — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
Mooner was walking around laying his hands on the cars, divining karma. "this is it", he said, standing by a small khaki-colored jeep."this car… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“Ranger was waiting. He was dressed in black slacks, a form-fitting black T-shirt, and a black blazer.” — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
I guessed my mother figured if my father got right down to the task of eating he wouldn’t be so inclined to jump up… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
You can get through very serious and sometimes horrible and sometimes embarrassing and very awkward situations with humor. It gives us a way out. — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
Way back before the 'Alex Barnaby' series was first published, we were talking with Dark Horse then about making it into a graphic novel… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“He wears jeans, untucked shirts, and a Glock 19, and he has a big shaggy dog named Bob.” — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
