Sarah Silverman

When I was 17, I read a profile of Carol Leifer. Since then, I wanted to be her. I still want to…

— Sarah Silverman

My growing up years, we watched 'Happy Days,' every night. I don't know what was reruns and what was new.

— Sarah Silverman

People can't help what topics cut them deep. It all depends on who's inferring - and what the contexts of their lives…

— Sarah Silverman

In your twenties, I think you should have all of the sex that you're inclined to have, as long as you're safe…

— Sarah Silverman

I was a bedwetter until I was about 15, and it was humiliating.

— Sarah Silverman

Someone on Twitter sent me a page from a textbook. It had a picture of a football player next to a picture…

— Sarah Silverman

It fills me with a weird rage to wear shoes that make me not able to walk easily or run if I…

— Sarah Silverman

If you are truly offended by an 80-year-old man saying you're not funny, then you're probably not funny.

— Sarah Silverman

Summer camp: the second worst camp for Jews.

— Sarah Silverman

“If you’ve ever heard that song by Beyoncé, “Single Ladies,” I am one of the people she’s singing about. I have to…

— Sarah Silverman

If I were somebody else looking at my character, I'd be like, "She's beautiful." I'm practicing. I'm not succeeding.

— Sarah Silverman

I say 'I'm sorry.' It usually disarms them.

— Sarah Silverman

“People who call themselves divas...you are not a diva. I'm pretty sure you're a cunt.”

— Sarah Silverman

[I'm] almost positive there is no God.

— Sarah Silverman

It's just hard to say, "Well, I do this, which means this." If I'm telling you exactly who I am, then there's…

— Sarah Silverman

I'd love to do drama if it was interesting.

— Sarah Silverman

Sometimes loving each other isn't enough. You have to be responsible for your own happiness. You can't stay in a relationship because…

— Sarah Silverman

I'm very lucky in that I still experience highs and lows. And I think those lows are important. But I am not…

— Sarah Silverman

I have very vivid dreams - almost always action-adventure. I'm often on the run. I've always had dreams. When I was little,…

— Sarah Silverman

I think Jews tend to hold me in fairly high regard.

— Sarah Silverman

“If women could ejaculate, I would have exploded hot jizz all over my manager's face. Instead, I hugged him. (about getting the…

— Sarah Silverman

A bull in just about any shop is gonna be a mess.

— Sarah Silverman

Traditionally, I have no right to talk about race. I'm white; I didn't grow up in an all-black neighborhood. But the license…

— Sarah Silverman

Don't tell girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that…

— Sarah Silverman

As soon as a woman is old enough to have an opinion and have a voice and be unafraid, she's very much…

— Sarah Silverman