Mommy is one of the chosen people … and daddy believes that Jesus is magic! — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
I don't believe in Jesus or God. But I do believe that fundamentalists in religion or anything else are bad, and that… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
Everybody blames the Jews for killing Christ, and the Jews try to pass it off on the Romans. I'm one of the… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
I'm all sentimental. I've probably been ruined by romantic movies, but I really do believe in love. I've experienced it, I've had… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
If my Catholic boyfriend and I ever have a kid, we'll just be honest with it. We'll say that Mommy is one… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
I can't believe how much time has passed. The first time I did stand-up I was 17, and I was really a… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
My dad loves to be talked about, good or bad. He just loves it. He's not even hearing the content, he's just… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
Take lots of time for yourself, discovering yourself-pursue not only a profession but other life passions, I always make time to rock… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
She, uh, came out of the closet recently, my niece. Um... She announced to the family that she's a lesbian and... She's… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
When I was 17, I read a profile of Carol Leifer. Since then, I wanted to be her. I still want to be her. — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
My growing up years, we watched 'Happy Days,' every night. I don't know what was reruns and what was new. — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
People can't help what topics cut them deep. It all depends on who's inferring - and what the contexts of their lives are at… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
In your twenties, I think you should have all of the sex that you're inclined to have, as long as you're safe about it.… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
Someone on Twitter sent me a page from a textbook. It had a picture of a football player next to a picture of me.… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
It fills me with a weird rage to wear shoes that make me not able to walk easily or run if I had to.… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
If you are truly offended by an 80-year-old man saying you're not funny, then you're probably not funny. — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
“If you’ve ever heard that song by Beyoncé, “Single Ladies,” I am one of the people she’s singing about. I have to be, because… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
If I were somebody else looking at my character, I'd be like, "She's beautiful." I'm practicing. I'm not succeeding. — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
