Quote by Jarod Kintz Download Open image ““I'm all about safe fruit. After I peel a banana, I roll on a condom.”” — Jarod Kintz ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.6 out of 5 (10 ratings) Copy quoteShare
“Nobody peels a banana before stabbing themselves with it. But that’s exactly how I love—dangerously. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I can assure you that your underwear is safe around me. I prefer having the little fruit on the underwear I’m wearing than to… — Lindsey Brookes Copy Share Image
“I loosen my grip and take a tasteless bite. I don’t like bananas much—they’re so mealy—but they’re a safe fruit to eat, always cleanly… — Corinne Duyvis Copy Share Image
“-You do know to put the condom on as soon as the penis is erect, don't you? -I paid a fortune for bananas out of season in case you need the practice. This is a trap. If I say, Oh yeah, I roll rubbers onto new dry erections all the time, I'll get the slut lecture from my father. But… — Chuck Palahniuk Copy Share
“One time I went to the store to find some bananas, and then they were out of bananas!” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“The image of you putting a condom on a banana to teach me about gay sex is forever ingrained in my head.' 'Well, a good father teaches his son about the facts of life.' 'You didn't have to put the banana in your mouth,' I reminded him. He grinned without looking up. 'Bet that kept you from performing fellatio for… — T.J. Klune Copy Share
“Having sex with a condom is like eating chocolate with the wrap on.” — Ahmed Mostafa Copy Share Image
“I wanted to peel his cock like a banana and staple it to his hips before pouring acid over it” — Ker Dukey Copy Share Image
“When they have opened you up like a ripe fruit they devour your juices and then spit you out like the seed.” — U.F. Shah Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
