Christmas day Quote by Chuck Palahniuk

“This is a trap. If I say, Oh, yeah, I roll rubbers onto new dry erections all the time, I’ll get the slut lecture…

— Chuck Palahniuk

“The image of you putting a condom on a banana to teach me about gay sex is forever ingrained in my head.' 'Well, a…

— T.J. Klune

“I'm all about safe fruit. After I peel a banana, I roll on a condom.”

— Jarod Kintz

“But since Sloth I've been so monogamous I make the demonstration banana that AIDS educators use to show how to put on a condom,…

— Lauren Beukes

“I became a diligent condom carrier and when most subsequent lovers had the good fortune to lie under my grunting, sweaty mass, they were…

— Rob Delaney

“It's like you have a special skill when it comes to finding condoms. Seriously. They must fall out of the sky whenever you're around.”

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

“After donning a condom,”

— Elle Casey

“Having sex with a condom is like eating chocolate with the wrap on.”

— Ahmed Mostafa

“Wearing a condom is like eating an icecream cone with a sock on your tongue.”

— Mark Gungor

“A gentleman who doesn't have the physical and/or emotional sensitivity to use condoms couldn't possibly possess the self-confidence required to fully procure the infinite…

— Inga Muscio

“Bad bananas are like push-up bras--a promise of tenderness can deliver tasteless mush, and we're not supposed to complain.”

— Kate Lebo

“I can assure you that your underwear is safe around me. I prefer having the little fruit on the underwear I’m wearing than to…

— Lindsey Brookes