Quote by Lauren Beukes

“The image of you putting a condom on a banana to teach me about gay sex is forever ingrained in my head.' 'Well, a…

— T.J. Klune

“-You do know to put the condom on as soon as the penis is erect, don't you? -I paid a fortune for bananas out…

— Chuck Palahniuk

“I'm all about safe fruit. After I peel a banana, I roll on a condom.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Actually last night my married lover appeared wearing suspenders and a darling little angora crop top told me he was gay a sex addict…

— Helen Fielding

“Well, for me, gratuitous abstinence is just as bad as gratuitous sex.”

— Bianca Sommerland

“It seemed to me, watching, that if you were dextrous enough to gift-wrap an independent-minded amphibian, you could just about manage a condom.”

— Naomi Wolf

“I’ve been practicing serial monogamy with one loser after another since I was eighteen. You can’t deny I’m an asshole magnet.”

— Avery Flynn

“I became a diligent condom carrier and when most subsequent lovers had the good fortune to lie under my grunting, sweaty mass, they were…

— Rob Delaney

“When they figure out how to bottle up orgasms and sell them as a food additive, I'll be first in line.”

— Nenia Campbell

“Wearing a condom is like eating an icecream cone with a sock on your tongue.”

— Mark Gungor

“I need to go to the store and pick up some condoms. But first I need to pick up some women.”

— Jarod Kintz

“It's like you have a special skill when it comes to finding condoms. Seriously. They must fall out of the sky whenever you're around.”

— Jennifer L. Armentrout