Also Quote by Paul Neilan

“I hate bananas. I just hate them. But I also think a banana suit is the funniest fruit costume a person can wear.”

Paul Neilan

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Also Banana Bananas Costume Costumes Fruit Funniest Hate I hate Just Person Persons Suit Suits Them Think Thinking Wear

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“It takes more than one kick in the pants to reverse a lifetime of unplanned apathy.”

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“It was nice of her to want to believe the best about me. People tend to do that with the strangers they're fucking. If…

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Cowardice, when done correctly, can be its own kind of bravery.

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If Tolstoy were alive today and working at Panopticon Insurance, he'd say that all insurance companies are the same, then throw himself through an…

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Anybody can make something up and have it sound believable. The hard part is remembering all the lies you've told, and all the people…

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“Sitting on my stool I thought of a bumper sticker: "If Mean People Suck, Why Isn't My Dick In Your Mouth?”

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There comes a time in every man's life when he wakes up drunk on the toilet and begins to doubt the choices he has…

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“Buy it for anyone you know who cries in the shower, who drinks in the morning, whose life only has meaning when they’re asleep and dreaming that they’re somebody else. They will find comfort here. And if they don’t, it’s not your fault. They’ve always been this way. Some people are just all banged up. Good for you for trying…

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“Buy it for the lady who’s about to become your mother-in-law, the one who’s already trying to control your life and the lives of the three children she’s already pressuring you to have. Give her the book one day out of nowhere, just as a nice surprise, and when she hugs you, calmly whisper: “Don’t fuck with me, Ellen. Don’t…

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“Sometimes the questions are more important than the answers, especially when you do not know what the answers are. I didn't give a shit…

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“Two wrongs don't make a right but sometimes they make me laugh. I am a vengeful god.”

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at first I thought you were just using me" she said "I definitely am." I just wasn't sure for what. "Asshole!" she said, and punched me in the side. And she laughed as my kidney began to hemorrhage. That's the beauty of honesty. Everyones so unused to hearing it they just assume you're kidding, and you get to feel very…

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