“I was nervous. Like an ice cube, I just froze up. Then I melted in some strange guy’s drink.” — Jarod Kintz Ice cube Copy Share Image
“You’re under no obligation to accept my oppression, but it is strongly recommended. I’ll make you love me, even if I have… — Jarod Kintz Uncle sam Copy Share Image
“I plant the “flag” in camouflage, though you couldn’t see by looking at it. (I hide behind my patriotism, and I hide… — Jarod Kintz Patriotism Copy Share Image
“A brick should decide who gets to rule the people, and I should decide what rules determine whom the brick favors.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The situation is a coffee mug, and I’ve got a handle on it.” — Jarod Kintz Coffee mug Copy Share Image
“My knowledge is mine to use as I see fit. But I’m way too out of shape to see fit.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Too many abused beers have suffered in the name of networking. Let us find a better way to mix torture and business.” — Jarod Kintz Better way Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. I was trying to dissect love like it was a frog, and you were trying to… — Jarod Kintz Dreams Copy Share Image
“Networking is more quality, and less quantity. It’s better to form a solid connection with one new person, than a liquid connection… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Call me Jack Sonville. It’s not just my name—it’s my location. I’d love to move. But first I’d have to change my… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love is being able to be yourself, with another human being who makes you want to be better than yourself.” — Jarod Kintz Love Copy Share Image
“I am Captain Aptitude. Well, I will be, once I get acclimated to the climate at this altitude.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I drink hot coffee in the summer, and iced coffee in the winter. I’m a contrarian, and contrary to popular belief I'm… — Jarod Kintz Contrary to popular belief Copy Share Image
“Anyone want some of my foot long sub? It’s huge! It’s nearly half as long as my penis.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I like how volcanoes rumble before they erupt, as if to say, Get the hell off me.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Music has the power to shake society, especially if the bass is turned way up.” — Jarod Kintz Music Copy Share Image
“A tongue, if used the wrong way, can cause serious injury or even death. Politicians are famous for misusing their tongues this… — Jarod Kintz Death Copy Share Image
“One day Orafoura and I were walking along and I turned and said, "I wish I could capture the weather in a… — Jarod Kintz Rain Copy Share Image
“I can tell if two people are in love by how they hold each other’s hands, and how thick their sanitation gloves… — Jarod Kintz Love Copy Share Image
“Networking without caring about other people is like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich minus the jelly and the peanut butter. I’m… — Jarod Kintz Peanut butter Copy Share Image
“I just baked a cake in the shape of a door. Somebody’s knocking now, so let me get that.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“You can have your cake, but you can’t eat it. You have to sit there and watch me scarf it down.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My love is like the shape your mouth makes while you whistle. Would you mind if I accompanied you on my harmonica?” — Jarod Kintz Love Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to offset things likely to set you off. When you start to get hot, just wrap yourself… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“She had breasts like deflated balloons, and nipples like the wrinkled and floppy part you put your mouth on to blow them… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
