“A brick could be used to decorate the interior of your anus. Here, bend over and let me demonstrate. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Before the blue of night meets the pink of sunrise, there is a transition of lavender. It's a gradient of color that… — Jarod Kintz Blue Copy Share Image
“My ex girlfriend and I, we had chemistry together. And right after that, we had biology.” — Jarod Kintz Biology Copy Share Image
“When I hear someone’s sick, my first thought is selfishly, Better him than me. My second thought is more altruistic: Better him… — Jarod Kintz Loved ones Copy Share Image
“I am innocent! But only because the opportunity to partake in an activity that would render me guilty has not presented itself.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love doesn’t have form (aside from your naked body), but it does have a shape. The shape of love is circular, like… — Jarod Kintz Love Copy Share Image
“I got a small package in the mail today, and I thought it was the midget stripper I bought off eBay. But… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Distributing unsolicited You’re Welcomes, it’s a thankless task. It’s almost as if people don’t want to see me at 4 AM as… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m going to go up on my way down. I’m just a sideways sort of person.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
I think the key indicator for wealth is not good grades, work ethic, or IQ. I believe it's relationships. Ask yourself two… — Jarod Kintz Ask yourself Copy Share Image
“Blankets could be used as scapegoats for global warming. But why blame the blankets? Wouldn’t it be more fun, and more accurate,… — Jarod Kintz Global warming Copy Share Image
“I love how sincere she is. She makes a mannequin look like Mother Theresa, though she looks better naked. And I hope… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I went to a football game once and got punched in the face, but you couldn’t tell because I was already sitting… — Jarod Kintz Ball game Copy Share Image
“He didn’t fail to disappoint. He always succeeds at failing.” — Jarod Kintz Failure Copy Share Image
“Weeping willows remind me of summer. And sadness. I wonder if tissues are made out of their trunks.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Knowing more people is not important in growing your business. However, more people knowing you is the key to wealth. Be a… — Jarod Kintz Business Copy Share Image
“Sure, I’ll take your pamphlet. I need to fill up my trashcan anyway.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The moveless man moves along like the mist. The mist doesn’t hide, but all things are hidden in it—including the fog. Love… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“He’s only two years younger, but that doesn’t mean I’m not old enough to be his father. I grew up fast. Ah,… — Jarod Kintz Father Copy Share Image
“I want to invent a portable sink. It won’t be small, but it will be the size and shape of a car.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I went to a nude beach. No naked people were around, but there was plenty of exposed flesh in the teeth of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. You were sitting in a dentist’s chair, and I was cleaning your teeth. You wondered if… — Jarod Kintz Dream Copy Share Image
