“I have a mansion of an imagination, and I cordially invite you to come sleep in my shed.” — Jarod Kintz Imagination Copy Share Image
“How do you seduce a whole continent? One person at a time.” — Jarod Kintz Continent Copy Share Image
“In a bookstore you can find me in the romance section, because I’m not a lover, I’m a reader.” — Jarod Kintz Books Copy Share Image
“I suspended my disbelief, and left it floating in mid air.” — Jarod Kintz Disbelief Copy Share Image
“Were you aware that my sister looks like my brother? They both look nonexistent.” — Jarod Kintz Brother Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used as a cover of your favorite song by your favorite cover band. ” — Jarod Kintz Blanket Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to stop a murder. Just wedge it in front of the door of the murderer, and enclose… — Jarod Kintz Brick Copy Share Image
“A brick and a blanket aptly describe my former roommate. He was as dumb as a brick, and only highly functional on… — Jarod Kintz Brick Copy Share Image
“My forehead is starting to get wrinkled, but you’d hardly notice it because all the wrinkles in my shirt would distract your… — Jarod Kintz Wrinkles Copy Share Image
“I don’t like to brag or frighten, but I’ve got a black belt. And a brown one, which I sometimes wear with… — Jarod Kintz Black belt Copy Share Image
“Sometimes I get depressed about my age. In March I’ll be 26. If man weren’t measured in numbers, but rather letters, I’d… — Jarod Kintz Depressed Copy Share Image
“Books allow you to take flight, unlike the chicken wings I stapled to my back before eating them.” — Jarod Kintz Books Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to study the stars more thoroughly. I don’t know how exactly, because I’m not Stephen Hawking. Somebody… — Jarod Kintz Astronomy Copy Share Image
“I thought he was a quiet guy. Then I found out he is a mute, and then I knew he was a… — Jarod Kintz Mute Copy Share Image
“I don’t understand why you don’t trust me. It’s not like you have a reason to not trust me. So, lend me… — Jarod Kintz Money Copy Share Image
“I don't know what love is, but I know what love isn't. Love isn't a peanut butter and tuna sandwich, because no… — Jarod Kintz Love Copy Share Image
“I was hot so I gave myself a haircut. I then saw a bald man sweating, so I offered to tweeze his… — Jarod Kintz Bald man Copy Share Image
“Do I look like someone you know? Well you don’t know me, so why don’t you go bother my clone? And if… — Jarod Kintz Clone Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to manipulate people into doing what you want. If anything could offer one man an unfair advantage… — Jarod Kintz Brick Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to help teach teenagers to tie their shoes. Honestly, if they are so stupid that they haven’t… — Jarod Kintz Brick Copy Share Image
“A brick is a good object to hide a house key under. No burglar will be able to get to your key,… — Jarod Kintz Brick Copy Share Image
“If someone is playing on my fear, the natural tendency for a person is to throw all their energy and focus into… — Jarod Kintz Fear Copy Share Image
“Call me Red Thunder. My partner, Silent Lightning, is invisible, but noisy.” — Jarod Kintz Silent Copy Share Image
“Criminals should be hung like championship banners—proudly, and in an effort to sell tickets.” — Jarod Kintz Crime Copy Share Image
“The flag was waving in the wind. Now whether it was waving hello or goodbye, I do not know.” — Jarod Kintz Flag waving Copy Share Image
“I’ll name my town “Unwelcome,” and the sign will say, “Welcome to Unwelcome.” — Jarod Kintz Unwelcome Copy Share Image
“I’ll agree with you if you promise to argue with me. That’s what love is, right?” — Jarod Kintz Argue Copy Share Image
“A mustache on a stick would not only be tastier than a popsicle, but ticklier too.” — Jarod Kintz Hair Copy Share Image
“I’m a lion in my environment. But take me out of my cage, and I’m a lamb.” — Jarod Kintz Cage Copy Share Image
“I’ll wear a fork on my head, and if anybody wants a job, they can eat salad off my scalp.” — Jarod Kintz Eat Salad Copy Share Image
“Plant trees. It’s a way to improve the future from the ground up.” — Jarod Kintz Farm Copy Share Image
“The book “Little Women,” what, is that about midgets? I freaking love midgets.” — Jarod Kintz Books Copy Share Image
“I’m in like Flynn, as the saying goes. But why is it going? It just got here.” — Jarod Kintz Saying Copy Share Image
