“The girl of my dreams got married to someone else. But that’s OK. I don’t need her beside me to keep her… — Jarod Kintz Dreams Copy Share Image
“I wanted to write “I Want” because wanting is one of the things I want most in life.” — Jarod Kintz Life Copy Share Image
“I wasn’t on vacation. I was in the bathroom for an extended length of pee.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If I collected dust, I wouldn’t mind if I got dust on it. My collection would grow and accumulate naturally. Probably my… — Jarod Kintz Love Copy Share Image
“We’re all trying to come to terms with our mortality. Well, except for me, because I plan to live forever through the… — Jarod Kintz Death Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to help frowners smile. I’m only halfway through the process myself, which is why I’m smirking. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m tired, and I just want to take a nap. But I want some good sleep, so does anybody know where I… — Jarod Kintz Political speech Copy Share Image
“How can I clearly see what’s wrong with someone else, and then look at myself as though I’m standing in front of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I asked for her hand in marriage, but instead got the whole body. Love is full of surprises!” — Jarod Kintz Body love Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to deliver the darkness on a platter of light. But I’d eat my unborn children straight out… — Jarod Kintz Children Copy Share Image
“Not only did I not win the sweepstakes, but I didn’t even bother to enter. I feel discriminated against.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I was only 20% right, while she was 80% right. Still, I was right that she was wrong—20% wrong.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Some women will spread a lie faster and wider than they’d spread their legs. These women are worse than whores. These women… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I didn’t do a 180-degree turn on my thinking. I simply swiveled my chair around so I could dismiss the idea from… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If you strip away my flowery language, you’ll figure out I’m really talking about bees.” — Jarod Kintz Gardening Copy Share Image
“I went to visit my dad. He didn’t say a word to me. Or if he did, I couldn’t hear it through… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love sounds like an elephant weighs. I know, because I’ve seen it with my own two nostrils. I’ve grown fat on the… — Jarod Kintz Love Copy Share Image
“I hate when people say primitive people didn’t even have running water. What do they call rivers?” — Jarod Kintz Running water Copy Share Image
“If you want me to have sex with you, I’ll have sex with you. If you want me to love you, I’ll… — Jarod Kintz Love Copy Share Image
“Silence is golden, and gold is up these days, so silence is a solid investment.” — Jarod Kintz Investing Copy Share Image
“I go to sleep in my business suit, because it makes my dreams of success seem more real.” — Jarod Kintz Business Copy Share Image
