“A brick is a fraction of a building, and a brick is like a building—if you're like an ant. ” — Jarod Kintz Brick Copy Share Image
“Love waits patiently. In the lobby. I’ll be with you as soon as I can.” — Jarod Kintz Love Copy Share Image
“My writing looks like it’s ten steps behind my mind, and racing to always catch up.” — Jarod Kintz Psychology Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to keep warm, and a blanket could be used to build a house.” — Jarod Kintz Blanket Copy Share Image
“I feel like I’m walking around in a fog. Orafoura doesn’t call me Mr. Mist for nothing.” — Jarod Kintz Feel Copy Share Image
“I just stepped in shit, and now I’ve got political rhetoric all over my shoes.” — Jarod Kintz Political rhetoric Copy Share Image
“One of your siblings has got to be the dumbest. And if you’re an only child—you’re the dumb one.” — Jarod Kintz Brotherhood Copy Share Image
“God gave man two ears and one penis hole for a reason. I’m not sure what that reason is, but I’m sure… — Jarod Kintz Reason Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to sell your winningest product to your loserest customer. Oh, loserest is a word. I know, because… — Jarod Kintz Blanket Copy Share Image
“Due to state laws, the restaurant was nonsmoking, which as a nonsmoker pleases me, but as a Libertarian it pisses me off. ” — Jarod Kintz Libertarian Copy Share Image
“A brick is a mythical object that empowers its handler and enables them to conquer the world and control the globe through… — Jarod Kintz Brick Copy Share Image
“The name’s David Davidson, and I am not my own son. I’m also not my own father, if you were wondering.” — Jarod Kintz David Copy Share Image
“In high school, I was on the carpentry team, but I got benched. It was awkward sitting on it while my teammates… — Jarod Kintz Absurd Copy Share Image
“The doors magically opened without the assistance of modern electronic devices. Instead, they cleverly employed doormen.” — Jarod Kintz Door Copy Share Image
“If I collected dust, I wouldn’t mind if I got dust on it. My collection would grow and accumulate naturally. Probably my… — Jarod Kintz Dust Copy Share Image
“Control your temper, or it will control you. Sometimes even remotely, like a toy car. Christmas is coming up, and for only… — Jarod Kintz Gift Copy Share Image
“One day Orafoura and I were walking along and I turned and said, "I wish I could capture the weather in a… — Jarod Kintz Bottle Copy Share Image
“Social progress: for the same price as last year, I get a slimmer candy bar, less chips per bag, and I have… — Jarod Kintz Candy bar Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to knock out the tooth of a giant, and then used as a replacement for that very… — Jarod Kintz Brick Used Copy Share Image
“When you give everything and expect nothing in return, only then will you be in a position to gain anything. When you… — Jarod Kintz Generosity Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. We were comparing scars. All of yours were on your body, while all of my scars… — Jarod Kintz Dreams Copy Share Image
“It’s tough to lose one parent, but to lose two—in a murder/suicide no less! But it’s OK, soon after the incident I… — Jarod Kintz Parent Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used for bric-a-brac. If you bring the brick, I’ll bring the brac. ” — Jarod Kintz Brick Copy Share Image
“Not only did I not get it done, but I’m over budget too. I’m like a politician.” — Jarod Kintz Budget Copy Share Image
“I have so many pet peeves that I can’t even pet them all. And damn I wish they were furry.” — Jarod Kintz Furry Copy Share Image
“Life's too short to take yourself seriously, and too long to take a wife jokingly.” — Jarod Kintz Life Copy Share Image
Economist should be spelled echonomist, because they all repeat each other. — Jarod Kintz Economics Copy Share Image
“Never chew off the hand you write with, you might survive and have to sign autographs.” — Jarod Kintz Autographs Copy Share Image
“When I’m competing to be on the bottom during sex, I always come out on top.” — Jarod Kintz Come Copy Share Image
“What does a man do when he robs a bank? Last week I ran like hell.” — Jarod Kintz Like Hell Copy Share Image
“I made a mistake, but I didn’t beat myself up about it. No, I beat up my clone. ” — Jarod Kintz Clone Copy Share Image
“This book does not exist. And even if it did, it wouldn’t be worth buying or reading.” — Jarod Kintz Book Copy Share Image
“With over one billion people, I’d say China is the best place to have group sex.” — Jarod Kintz China Copy Share Image
“I dated an IRS agent, and I cheated on her. Not with a woman, but on my taxes.” — Jarod Kintz Cheated Copy Share Image
“The question is not where am I, but who am I? Where I am: Inside the body of my clone.” — Jarod Kintz Body Copy Share Image
“2021—will it be a good year, or will it be just another two consecutive numbers?” — Jarod Kintz Consecutive Copy Share Image
