Quote by Jarod Kintz Download Open image ““My penis isn’t big. It just appeared that way because the midget’s hands were so small.”” — Jarod Kintz ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 3.6 out of 5 (9 ratings) Copy quoteShare
“If I were among midgets I didn’t know, I’d be afraid they’d see I was uncomfortable making small talk.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I am one pair of roses away from the grave,” I told the midget with the twelve-inch erection. It wasn’t his—he was just holding… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I may have overmothered you and screwed you up in ways large and small, but I think it’s time you took some measure of… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“That's right, bitch. Goldie Schwartz. And I'm not a fucking midget. I prefer the term 'fun sized'.” — Jaye Wells Copy Share Image
“Midget, midget, midget, how he struts and winks, For he knows a man's as big as what he hopes and thinks!” — Kurt Vonnegut Jr Copy Share Image
“...'it's not that you are too small, my little chick,but rather that the world is too big.” — Melanie Benjamin Copy Share Image
“And don’t even get me started on penis size. Really, it just gets better the farther south your eyes go—trust me.” — Rachel Van Dyken Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
